Designated Target Crisis
by Kalyra-Anne
Summary: He lost her once and he would be damned if he would lose her again... He will stop at nothing to find the one that he loves... Judgement Day revisted, what if Jenny found a narrow window of opportunity and survived? This is what could of happened... (Undergoing changes 2013)
1. Prologue

**Designated Target Crisis - Prologue  
AN: This is what we were shown on screen... The next chapter changes this reality - oh the beauty of fanfiction. Enjoy! :-)**

* * *

Tony and Ziva arrived at the old abandoned diner and the first thing that they noticed were tyre tracks and the car that they saw from the gas station earlier before. Ziva's heart nearly stopped, she had saved Jenny's life in Cairo five years earlier and she was praying to every God she could think of to make sure that she was alive.

Tony drew up and his gun and Ziva followed his movements, then Ziva saw the gunshots embedded within the door frame and the shattered glass as windows. Tony looked Ziva in the eye and on the count of three, he kicked the door open, his gun drawn. He went in first and saw body's of men, three or four at the most.

He checked the pulse of one of them "Dead" he muttered.

Ziva walked over towards the seating area of the diner and then she saw her old partner lying on the floor. Tony had gone in the opposite direction until Ziva had called him over and they both stared at the blood covered body of Jennifer Shepard, her eyes were squeezed shut and blood pooling out of the wounds she had received from this fire fight.

Tony leaned down, kneeled on his knees and tried to feel a pulse on her neck but he couldn't even feel a flutter of what could of been a beat. He removed his fingers from her neck and looked at Ziva, the unshed tears in her eyes and his. Then the ringing of Jenny's phone brought them out of their mini-trance of sadness, the blackberry lit up and Tony picked it up. He looked at the caller id and he dreaded the name that came up on the screen. 'Gibbs Mobile'

He reluctantly pressed the green answer button and then he heard Gibbs voice "Jen, Jen. Jenny? You there?"

"Uh, Boss?" Tony managed to choke out

"Put Jenny on the Goddamn phone DiNozzo or I will head slap you so hard that your grandchildren will feel it." said Gibbs

"Listen Boss, there is something that you should know, the Director is uh..." stuttered Tony

"Spit it out DiNozzo." Gibbs ordered and shouted at the same time "The Director is what?" he asked

"She's dead, Boss. I am so..." revealed Tony but his apology got cut short when he heard the beep to signal that Gibbs had hung up the phone. Tony turned to Ziva and she got out her phone and dialled 911, "Please state your emergency" said a female voice.

Tony put Jenny's phone down next to her body and then got out his phone and called The Deputy Director, Leon Vance. This was not meant to happen, he should of listened to Ziva. She was worried about the Director, she sensed that something wasn't right and he should of just listened to her. Maybe the Director would still be alive if he had just listened, and in that instant he knew that he blamed himself for her death.

* * *

Gibbs closed his phone as soon as he heard the word 'Dead'. Not Jenny, anyone else, but not her. She was the one woman that he truly loved, he had lost her nine years ago in Paris and he wasn't sure if he could lose her again not now. Not forever. He opened his phone and dialled the number for NCIS, so that he could get a flight out to LA.

* * *

Tony looked at Ziva solemnly as they waited for the paramedics to arrive outside the diner.

"Gibbs is going to crack it when he gets here, he loved her yet he never showed it." Tony stated soberly.

Ziva looked at Tony then at the ground realising just how hard this must be for him, "She loved him too, she told me in Cairo that he once asked her to marry him, but she left." she said, still staring at the ground.

Tony studied her for a moment "Paris." he said simply, catching the confused look that Ziva gave him he continued "It was Paris where they fell in love and where she left him, they were alone and had to put their lives in the hands of each other every day."

"Not to mention the lonely nights, the comfort that they each brought each other, over all too soon, because they were both too stubborn." Ziva stated quietly.

Tony was about to speak again when they heard the sirens of the oncoming paramedics.

* * *

**A/N: Don't forget to review. Thanks heaps! x**


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One – The Past and the Future  
AN: I'm currently going through some of my old stories, both co-written and solely my own and basically I am re-doing them, with some of them the content will stay relatively the same and others I am re-vamping completely so please let me know what you think! This story originally was co-written with the amazing Maddy. Thanks! **

* * *

It didn't take long for the paramedics to arrive, they had put all the dead hit men in body bags but they had only brought four body bags instead of five as they weren't expecting that amount of body's. So they had just placed her body onto a gurney and they took her away to the closest hospital in L.A. for the autopsies to be performed.

They checked all of the bodies for a pulse and none of them had one, or so they thought. The ambulances drove off into the distance and the dusty road as dust combined with the thin air of the desert. Inside the van paramedics where making estimations on when Jenny died when all of a sudden Jenny's eyes flashed open, and she gasped for air. Her mind was in over-drive, her heart-rate was racing and it felt like it was beating out of her chest, it hurt to breathe, her whole body was aching.

"Miss Shepard, stay with us." encouraged a female paramedic as she adjusted an oxygen mask firmly on Jenny's head to help her breathing.

"Jethro" she said quite weak and then she had memories of the shootout her eyes went livid and her body was going into shock.

This time when she opened her mouth she screamed his name "JETHRO!"

And then her breathing came in short pants, she could feel people working on her wounds. The pain was almost unbearable, almost being the operative word and her head was swarming with thoughts and memories. Where was Franks? Were all of the men dead? Was Jethro alive? It got to the point where her body had taken its toll and her eyes fluttered shut and her lungs felt like they were closing up, she could hear shouting, but it all sounded so distant. The last thing she remembered before she completely shut off was, Jethro.

"She's out." stated the female paramedic

"Get her a dose of morphine, we need to get out all the bullets asap." ordered the male paramedic and the nurse got a syringe and filled it with a clear liquid, she pricked Jenny on the hand where she would usually insert an iv line, but this was only in order to make her in less pain and it would be quicker for it to kick in this way.

"One's lodged in her shoulder." stated the female and the male nodded.

"Make the incision quick, Julia." requested the male paramedic and Julia nodded, she made a small cut at the bullet hole and she found the bullet, no issues at all. She pulled out the bullet and stitched her up.

They repeated the process for all of the remaining bullets and then the finally arrived at the hospital and they took her into surgery to make sure that they hadn't missed anything.

Two hours later, the female and male paramedics walked down the hallway of the hospital and spoke in hushed tones. "That was a close call, Jeremy." said Julia.

He rubbed a hand over his face and then through his brown hair. "I know, Julia, but as far as we know, she's fine and she'll make a fine recovery." said Jeremy and then they sat down on the lounge chairs in the hospital staff lunch room.

"Do you think we could have lost her today?" asked Julia

"That fed missed her pulse, to be completely honest, we might have lost her. We were lucky enough that she woke up for a few minutes and then we were able to get all the bullets out. She had no internal bleeding, just some light trauma to her head. However, with her head trauma, I believe it's psychological and also the reason why her heartbeat was practically untraceable was because they shot her with poisoned bullets." explained Jeremy and Julia just nodded; clearly she was shaken up about this case.

She was still a junior paramedic, she hadn't experienced a lot of major cases and this was her first gun-shot victim, she had no idea what to do next but thankfully Jeremy was there to tell her what to do. Now she only prayed for Jenny, she prayed that in the end, her patient would end up fine again.

* * *

_Jenny shook the hand of her new boss, Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He looked like an interesting man and it was obvious that he despised authority, the glare that he sent to the Director was enough to send a herd of people running in the opposite direction. This is going to be interesting, she thought. _

_"Name?" asked Gibbs as soon as they shook hands_

_"Shepard." she answered smoothly_

_"Got a first name or is it just Shepard?" he asked seriously_

_"Jenny." She answered_

_"With me." He ordered and he walked out of MTAC and down to his desk and a spare desk. _

_"Dump your things, on the desk." He ordered again and pointed to the desk opposite him. She placed her belongings on the top of the desk and then stood in front of it._

* * *

_"Morning sleepy." Jenny rolled over under the doona to see Jethro smiling at her, he kissed her temple as he put an arm around her, she smiled at the way that he made her feel and the way that his vibrant blue eyes shone. _

_"I love you." she said smiling against his lips as he captured them with his. _

_"That'll be the day." he responded with as he grabbed her lips with his again._

_'He may not say it but i know he loves me too' Jenny Shepard thought to herself as he kissed her throat._

* * *

_"Look Jethro, how beautiful is that." Jenny said as she pointed to the sun setting over the city of love. He smiled at her and pressed a kiss to her temple. _

_"Not as beautiful as you." he replied, in turn she smiled as he put an arm around her shoulders._

_"Come here Jen, there's something I want to show you." he whispered in her ear to her. She smiled and followed him over to the area of the restaurant that was near the river; the lights shone over them and gave it a magical feel._

_"Jen, I don't want this to be something that we forget about when we get back to the states, I want to spend all of eternity with you." he said softly as he pulled a blue velvet box and opened it to reveal a diamond encrusted eternity ring. Jenny looked at him and smiled, a small tear escaping from her eye._

_"Jenny, I know this is only an eternity ring, I thought that if I got you an engagement ring then it might be a tad too obvious, will you be my other half, will you marry me?" Jenny nodded enthusiastically at him as he wiped away her tears._

_"Yes Jethro, I love you." she said as his lips grabbed hers _

_"I love you too Jen, I love you too." he said against her lips. 'He said he loves me' she thought to herself as they broke the kiss._

* * *

_Jenny tapped her nails against the steering wheel again, she looked out of the left-hand window on the driver's side. Jethro had gone into a nearby take-away joint to get some dinner, stake-outs in cars were rarely ever fun. She saw something that wasn't quite right, she out her earwig and removed the microphone from her wrist. She put her side-arm in the glove box and her id followed suit. She grabbed a GPS tracker, she hiked up her shirt and lowered her pants a little, she put the tracker on her lower hip, replaced her clothing and got out the car. _

_She ran across the road and to the other side. And there it sat, a black briefcase, she picked it up and carried it back to the car, the placed it under the driver's seat and then got out the car again. She went back across the road, the neon lights of shops shining brightly in the night sky. She surveyed the area and walked down the street, the next thing she knew was she felt an explosion of flames push her backwards, the hot air that was exposed to her skin. _

_She fell face first and felt something sharp cut across her face on her forehead and slightly on her eyebrow. She opened her eyes and felt the pain that shot up through her body from all directions. She saw Jethro run towards her screaming her name before she closed her eyes._

* * *

_She had written the letter, it was in her coat pocket, all she had to do was get on the plane. She got off at the second stop, all she had to do was leave the coat on her seat and then Jethro would find it. She was hesitating, majorly. She looked down at the ring on her left hand, the question in her mind was playing over and over again. 'Love or Career?' How was she going to explain this? She had already accepted his marriage proposal over six months ago and now she was leaving? _

_She took the ring off of her finger and placed it in her pocket of her long black pants. She walked through a corridor and showed her plane ticket to one of the Air Hostess' before walking down the plane to about the mid-section and taking her seat._

* * *

_Jenny Shepard was sitting nervously on a front row MTAC chair, she knew that her former boss was about to have a taste of his past and so was she. She had already had to get past the fact that she was now his boss, but it was still hard. One moment at a time, she patiently waited anxiously watching the screen of MTAC as it was an anti-terrorist operation. It wasn't long before it ended and everyone was congratulating each other on another mission well done. _

_"Great job everyone." She said to keep up appearances. Majority of people filed out of the room but she stayed seated and then she heard the soon to be former Director, Tom Morrow say... _

_"You're not my problem anymore Jethro."_

_"You firing me, Sir?" Gibbs asked, clearly amused_

_"I've been offered a deputy director position at Homeland Security." Explained Tom_

_"Who will be replacing you, Sir?" asked Gibbs with curiosity. And when Tom didn't reply he continued, "Not me." He stated, like he'd ever trade in his current job for rubber chicken dinners and kissing ass, politics was not his thing. Jenny mentally was laughing hard when she heard him say 'Not me.' _

_"As much as I like you Jethro, I would not shoot NCIS in the head." Tom said after he chuckled. This was her queue. She stood up, still facing the blackened screen of MTAC, now that the mission was over. _

_"He's your problem now, Director." Said Tom as he walked away and out of MTAC. She turned around and looked him in the eye, showing no weakness even though he was her weakness. _

_"Hello Jethro." She greeted him in a strong tone. No answer for a few seconds and she didn't have to ask, she knew that he was having a flashback of some sorts, she could tell by his expression. _

_"Shall we skip the 'you haven't changed a bit bull?'" she said which pulled him out of his trance. He stood up and walked down towards her. _

_Invading her personal space and it causing havoc on her senses. "Why start lying to each other now, Jen?" he replied and she felt her heart race._

_"Jethro." She said quietly, a hint of pleading_

_"Madam Director." He said as he moved to the side to let her pass him._

* * *

_She was standing on the staircase that led to the MTAC catwalk, there sat Gibbs with little Zach on his lap, he was blowing up a glove and then let the air float out which made funny noises that had them both smiling and laughing. It made her smile herself, 'He's really good with kids' she thought. And then Tony and Ziva appeared behind her back, the conversation was quick and over with after a few words and Jenny walked upstairs to the MTAC catwalk and walked to a more secluded area near her office but it still overlooked the Squad-Room. _

_"I never knew you were so good with kids." She stated with a smile. _

_"That an offer, Jen?" he asked her and if she hadn't of known better, she might of said Yes, maybe once upon a time ago. _

_"No, it wasn't an offer. Just an observation." She said with a smile, the glisten in her eyes made them sparkle and her smile was genuine._

* * *

_She walked down the stairs of an all too familiar house into an all too familiar basement and there it was, the famous boat being built however the unfamiliar thing was Gibbs teaching a mini-version of himself how to sand a boat. She stood on the top of the staircase and just watched them for a minute, they were so cute together. The scene in front of her was just to adorable for words, she slowly walked down the stairs , the clunk of her heels against the wooden stair case, was loud in the room, even for her ears. _

_She reached the last step, her head down and she briefly heard Gibbs mutter the words "Hubba Hubba" and she guessed that he checked her out. _

_"Dinner at the white house?" he asked and she corrected him even though it was a small white lie._

_"A date actually." She said_

_"Must be an important guy for you to get all decked out." He said to her. 'If you only knew' she thought. _

_"I'd prefer it if you told me that you liked my dress." She said with her eyebrows raised slightly. _

_"I haven't decided yet." He said as he shrugged and turned away. 'Classic Gibbs' she thought as she checked out his butt when he bent down to put a tool away. _

_Unknown to her that Zach was watching the exchanged actions of them both closely._

* * *

_"I'm fine Jethro, wish I had my coat" were the only words that she was able to speak before Dempsey took the phone away from her. She knew it wasn't the best clue in the world, and she was praying that he would remember, no matter how painful it was to. _

_"He knows where." Were the words that brought her from her thoughts. She saw him hang up the phone and now she was praying that Jethro would figure it out and shoot the bastard although she had to give him some credit. He shot his partner well he was more like his boss but that wasn't the point, he shot his own 'partner' instead of her, but then again she was worth a hell of a lot more than his 'partner'. Now all she had to do was wait._

_He grabbed her arm tightly, the rope that bound her hands was leaving red marks on her skin and it felt like it was on fire. He yanked her forward and she nearly tripped, 'I can't wait until someone kills this bastard already...' she thought to herself. She saw the dark blue NCIS issued sedan pull up in the hanger and she saw Ziva get out of the car with her hands up. She couldn't even register what he was saying, words were being meshed together, voices droning on and on, it felt like her head was spinning and then she heard the unmistakable sound of a gunshot and it was so close, her whole body froze and for a second she thought that it was herself that was shot but she looked behind her where her kidnapper was lying dead with a bullet lodged in between his eyebrows, perhaps a little higher and on his forehead. She looked forward to the car and saw the one and only Leroy Jethro Gibbs peeking out from the boot of the car, gun in his hands and her breathing was heavy. She was still trying to wrap her mind around everything that had happened in such a short amount of time._

_There she stood in autopsy, three bodies were laying on slabs, there should have only of been two but Stanley, one of her most trustworthy driver's and security members died protecting her. _

_"A probie's mistake, this shouldn't have happened." She said as soon as Gibbs came and stood opposite her. He stayed silent and took another drink of his coffee. _

_"No innocent lives should be put on the line just to save someone's ass, how many times have we said that?" she said angrily. "Stanley died because of me." She stated bitterly and then she looked up deep into his eyes, all of her anger and pain melted away. _

_"Are you ever going to say anything?" she asked_

_"Have a drink." He replied as he handed her his coffee and she swallowed it with greed._

* * *

_Jenny was sitting in her office when she heard rather than saw the door swing open; unsurprisingly there was none other than Leroy Jethro Gibbs. She looked up from the reports that she was going through. _

_"I need you to sign a custody transfer." he said flatly as he handed her the file. She opened it to look at where she had to sign and paused. _

_"Is there a problem?" he asked her with a slight smirk curling his lips. _

_She looked up at him again, "No, I'm just surprised that you're not trying to convince me to let him stay with someone from here." she said shifting her eyes so that she was again looking at the desk. _

_"Not our job, we're not babysitters." he said as he saw her look away. _

_"It's late on a Friday night and you want to turn him over to social services." she said slightly exasperated when she received no answer she knew what he was playing at_

_"In that case he can stay with me." she said and closed the file. "Jethro this is a case report, not a custody transfer." She said to him as he exited her office and noticed the smirk that came across his face _

_"Must have grabbed the wrong folder." He said smirking at the look that she gave him. _

_"Go figure." she muttered under her breath as he left._

* * *

_"I wondered how long it would take you to check up on me" Jenny said as she stood in her doorway with Gibbs, except you're not here to check up on me are you, that would explain where my cell phone went." She said glancing down at her pocket._

_She led him to the room where Carson was sitting. She stood in the doorway and watched as he talked to Carson. She watched the way that he acted and how good he was with kids. Soon enough after they had finished talking and Carson had finished his hot chocolate he was asleep on the couch in her study she smiled silently watching the way that Gibbs looked right at home. Gibbs carried him up the stairs and to the guest room where they put him to bed. _

_"It's been a long time, us together outside of work." she said to him as she walked down the stairs. _

_"That's if you don't count hospitals and kidnappings." he responded bluntly. She could see the emotions that were running through him at that moment; his eyes had always been a window that she could see into clearly._

_"I don't." she said quietly, "What happened Jethro?" she asked just as quietly. _

_"You made a choice." he responded and she saw something in his eyes that was similar to fear, the same fear that a person gets when they touch a hot stove and she knew just why he had that fear. _

_"I had to do what was right for me, I still do." she said looking into his eyes silently pleading that he would open up to her that he would stay and spend the night, comfort her and tell her that it was all going to be okay, but she knew better, he was too stubborn to admit that he needed her just as bad. _

_"No." was all he said as he shook his head, opened the door and left leaving her standing there in the door way of her house. A small tear threatened to escape but she held it back. She had to be strong, that was what was going to get her through the pain that she felt._

* * *

Jenny gasped; there was something in her throat, a tube perhaps. It felt like she was choking, she gripped one end of it herself and slowly pulled it out. A nurse came in to check her stats and noticed that her patient had awoken and taken out the tube by herself. She placed a file on the spare chair and grabbed a nasal canula and attached it around Jenny's head...

'I hope Jethro is okay', she thought to herself as she recalled the events at the diner, the men that had been hired to perform a hit on her, she would do anything to make sure that Jethro was okay and dying was no exception.

"Ms. Shepard, your awake, how are you feeling?" a nurse asked her sweetly, Jenny faked a small smile at her.

"Fine, where am I?" she asked the nurse slightly confused, the nurse smiled. Jenny ignored the dry agonising feeling at the back of her throat.

"You're at Ventura General Hospital." she answered. Jenny nodded taking it all in; she smiled again as the nurse left to get her something to eat.

* * *

**AN: Please review and let me know what you thought **


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two – The people left behind**

He looked at the phone in his hand, how was he to call them and tell them that she was dead, that their fearless director wasn't quite so fearless anymore. He sighed; it was never easy was it. For once, Gibbs wished that his life was easier. Abby was right, his team was like his family and Jenny. Jenny was so much more than just his boss but now it was too late to tell her.

"Duck, its Gibbs." he said a small amount of pain lacing his voice as he spoke.

"Jethro wha-" he was cut off by Gibbs,

"Its Jen, she's dead." he said the anger that he felt showing in his voice

"I'm sorry Jethro. It was only a matter of time." He said the sadness that he felt seeping through

"She was murdered Ducky." he said automatically. Ducky heard the beep and knew that Gibbs had hung up, a classic Gibbs move. He looked at his phone before flipping it shut and placing it securely in his pocket. He turned around to where Tim and Abby were standing anxiously, he walked up to them.

"Who?" asked Tim and Ducky hesitated in answering. It took him a minute or two to respond.

"Jenny." he answered. Abby's hands flew to her mouth as she gasped and her eyes went glassy. It felt so surreal, like the world was spinning. Her breathing slowed a little and then she felt the wetness on her cheeks before she her body even registered that she was crying.

She fell to the ground crying, it couldn't be true. It couldn't! Her breathing coming in as short gasps between tears, Tim took her into his arms, to provide some form of comfort but he was also feeling the heavy weight toll of the Director's death.

* * *

Gibbs walked around the airports food court even though there was various take-away joints scattered around the airport. He wasn't particularly hungry but he didn't know what else to do, he was having trouble in believing that Jen was murdered. It just didn't feel right, it couldn't be true, deep down in his gut, and there was a pinch of a feeling that she was still alive.

He walked to the nearest table and sat down, his duffle bag with him, placed on the table. He didn't notice it at first but when he saw it, it was like a film of memories that were clashing together, one after the other.

_"Jethro." she giggled as she took another bite of her chocolate iced donut. He made another face and she couldn't resist the temptation of giggling. "Come on Jen." he whined and made a face that looked like a two year old pouting. _

_"But Jethro." she said as she mimicked his actions, the pout and the whine_

_He held out his hand and she ignored him and took another bite. "Jen, I'm serious." he said in his official work tone. _

_"You're always serious." she teased and he rolled his eyes. _

_"In my defence, I'm not always serious." he said and Jen just took another bite._

_"You better be leaving me some of that." he said and she shrugged. There wasn't much left of the donut anymore and then she popped the rest of it in her mouth and Gibbs mouth dropped._

_"Mmmmm..." she said and she swallowed the contents in her mouth._

_"That was one of the best donuts I've had in years." she said as she licked her fingers._

_"I can't believe you just did that!" he said, the shock evident in his voice._

_"You expect me to give up my favourite food in the whole entire world?" she asked._

_"Yes, because first of all, you're favourite food is chocolate." he said and then Jen cut him off with her damn seductive voice._

_"That's beside the point."_

_"And I'm hungry." he continued_

_"Well then buy food and Mr. I'm a legend of knowing people's favourite foods, donuts aren't even your favourite." she said and then he pouted again and she rolled her eyes. Who'd of thought that Leroy Jethro Gibbs acted like a baby when he didn't get what he wanted, it was beyond her._

_"You wanna know something?" she asked_

_"Fire away." he muttered_

"You are such a baby." she stated

_"Whatever Jen." he said as he got out a cookies and crème Hershey's chocolate bar, he unwrapped it and took a bite into it. _

_"Jethro!" she said loudly_

_"What?" he asked innocently_

_"You're an ass." she commented and looked away from the tempting chocolate bar._

_"You love my ass." he said and she ignored him. "Wanna taste some?" he asked and then her gaze went directly to him. _

_"Yes." she answered quickly. He made a 'come her' movement with his finger. She got up from her chair and stood next to him, her gaze lingering on the bar of chocolate. She placed her hands on her hips and waited for the bar but it didn't come. _

_"Well?" she drew out the word extra slowly. He placed the bar on the table and stood up. She went to grab it and he grabbed her hand ad intertwined his fingers with hers. In that moment he kissed her, she let her tongue slid in his mouth; it was a natural occurrence these days. She pulled back and licked her lips. _

_"You're right, it does taste good."_

He snapped back to reality as he heard his flight announced on the speaker, a small tear threatened to fall but he refused to let it, he had to be strong to get through the pain that he felt. if there was even the slightest chance that Jen could still be alive he would find her...

* * *

The paramedics had came in and taken away the bodies, Jenny's body. This wasn't just some ordinary case; it was personal, just like Abby had labelled them all as, family.

"It's my entire fault; I should have listened to you Ziva." Tony all but sobbed as he sat on the road side. The dust combined with the air made it difficult to breathe; no-one had been expecting this.

"It's not just your fault Tony, we both had responsibility of her safety and we didn't uphold our roles. Although we chose to do her orders, since she is our Boss." Said Ziva, her voice was void of any emotion.

He exhaled sharply and looked down the road, neither of them could bring themselves to go back into the diner, they had been staring at the road for the past hour, blaming themselves for the previous events that had occurred that day.

The ringing of Ziva's phone brought them both out of their thoughts and they both looked at the phone, resting on Ziva's lap. She flipped it open without bothering to look at the caller id.

"David." She greeted flatly.

"Please tell me that mommy isn't dead, it's not her it can't be the director." she sobbed over the phone and it made Ziva's heart tear up all over again.

She was stunned for words as she heard the most lovable Goth sobbing over the phone line. Abby was always the cheery one but not now. Ziva opened her mouth but there were no words coming out of her mouth, in that moment, she felt guiltier than she had ever felt before in her life. She felt guiltier now than when she shot her own brother, her half-brother, Ari Haswari.

It felt like there was a dagger that was turning in her heart, Mossad taught to show and feel nothing, but that was when dealing with those that deserved it, this time it was her best friend, the woman that had introduced her to the team, the team that was now like her family, a family that had been torn apart, by a large thread.

"Ziva, she can't be... Not... Possible." Sobbed Abby in between sobs and Ziva felt her eyes glisten with unshed tears.

"I'm so sorry Abby." Were the only words that she could manage to say.

"This is worse than when your parents get a divorce, at least then you can still see them both, now we only have one." Tony mumbled as a tear formed in the corner of his eye, the team at work were who he considered family and hearing Abby on the phone had made a small shard of his heart snap off.

He could imagine her face, tear streaked and splotchy, she never cried, none of them did and now they were all trying to deal with the pain that they felt.

'I should a listened to Ziva, damn it DiNozzo why didn't you listen?!' he thought angrily to himself, he smacked himself on the back of the head, it wasn't the same though, this wasn't just throwing paper at McGee or chatting up a chick, this was big, his family had all but fallen apart and he blamed himself for it because he knew that it was his fault.

He pulled up at the closest diner which was attached to a gas station. He got out the car and placed the keys in his pocket. He walked in, it was busy enough, he wouldn't be noticed from the corner seat which was quite secluded. He sat down on the wooden chair and placed his hands on the table.

"What the fuck have I done?" he muttered to himself. 'I should of been there, I was meant to be. I did all that I could but I was too late getting the Goddamn water for the stupid tea.' he thought, he was so angry at himself and Probie was going to have his ass when he found out, and even worse, she died protecting him and the unknown feelings would now never be revealed...

* * *

Her face was absent of make-up, all of her tears had smudged it, and she didn't care. She was in denial, Jenny couldn't be dead, she just couldn't and this was not happening.

She sat in her lab, no music, she was staring at her favourite photo of Jenny on her computer screen and it was also on the plasma. The photo had become her favourite when she saw it for the first time, it was Jenny smiling at the Halloween party, she was dressed as a Goth and it had delighted her little heart.

It was in that moment that Abby thought about how she was meant to go on and not see Jenny ever again. How different her life was going to be without her, another sob escaped her. The feeling of knowing that she was never going to see Jenny again was killing her. She had sent Tim away, not being able to cope and deal with both of their pains.

"Please don't be dead." she pleaded with the photo as more tears escaped her eyes. "Not now Jenny, please not now... Just come back... Please come back... Come back... Please?" she said between her tears, the realisation of knowing, that she wasn't coming back. No matter how many tears she cried, how many prayers she said, how many pleads she's say, Jenny wouldn't be there in the morning.

He sat there at his desk; Abby had sent him away and told him that she needed to be alone. There was no one else there as he looked at the picture that was on the screen, they looked like the perfect family, the Director and Gibbs along with Abby Ziva, Tony and him.

Sure he had a real family but they weren't like the one that he had at work. Out of everyone he was pretty sure that he was the least close to the Director but she had always made him feel a part of the group no matter what, they all held each other together in a way and those tightly woven links were coming undone.

She was gone and he wasn't sure if there was anyone that could help ease the pain that they all felt, he remembered how it was when Kate had died, the team had gone into crisis mode over losing who they considered a member of family and this time it was no different, in fact maybe it was more so since they had gotten closer to her than they were with Kate.

Reality kicked in as he heard the elevator ding and ducky step out, they were all together in this yet they were all alone as well.

* * *

She was career driven he would admit that but he also knew for a fact that she was stubborn, and when she set her mind to something she would do it, this was one of those things. She had given up so much for it, she had even given her life for it, looked around the autopsy room, he remembered the first day that Jennifer and Jethro had become partners and her first autopsy, the way that she had failed it and how caring Jethro had been towards her.

The three of them had many adventures, he could tell stories for weeks... He sighed, he was going to miss her, she was one of his dearest friends. She was someone who he'd do anything for, he'd protect her or help her out, he did owe her from all the many times that she had saved his life and also Jethro's, there were too many to count and remember.

And if he knew anything it was that her death was no accident and she knew exactly what she was doing when she walked into that diner.

He pondered what he was going to do as he was boarding the plane, he knew that DiNozzo would be beating himself up the same way that he did when Kate died and he had a fair idea that Ziva would have reverted to Mossad mode and not be very talkative...

"Christ Jen, what happened?" he said silently as he took his seat, he missed her yet there was an uneasy feeling in his gut, something that said that she wasn't quite gone for good and he hoped to god that was the truth, for his sake and the teams.

* * *

**AN: Review! x**


	4. Chapter Three

Chapter Three – Let's Go From There

_Previously:_

_Jenny gasped, there was something in her throat, a tube perhaps. It felt like she was choking, she gripped one end of it herself and slowly pulled it out. A nurse came in to check her stats and noticed that her patient had awoken and taken out the tube by herself. She placed a file on the spare chair and grabbed a nasal canula and attached it around Jenny's head... I hope Jethro is okay, she thought to herself as she recalled the events at the diner, the men that had been hired to perform a hit on her, she would do anything to make sure that Jethro was okay and dying was no exception. "Ms. Shepard, your awake, how are you feeling?" a nurse asked her sweetly, Jenny faked a small smile at her. "Fine, where am I?" she asked the nurse slightly confused, the nurse smiled. _

_"You're at Ventura General Hospital." she answered. Jenny nodded taking it all in, she smiled again as the nurse left to get her something to eat._

_

* * *

_

"What did Vance say to you when you told him?" Ziva asked Tony solemnly as they walked in the doors of the diner. "Not much, he said to look around, he'll be here on the next available flight." answered Tony as his eyes glanced at the pool of blood were Jenny's limp body once laid. Ziva just nodded, she followed his gaze and understood what he must of been feeling, or at least part of it. She went to a wall of photo's and it was obvious that a few of them were missing, given the difference of colour of the walls and were various frames would of been. "Tony." she called his name softly, he walked up beside her. He looked at the wall, "Missing frames or photo's?" he asked. "Not sure." she answered flatly.  
"And?" he asked  
"I thought that it was out of the ordinary." said Ziva and Tony usually wouldn't take her suggestion on board but with all that had happened today, he knew that she was onto something. "Look behind the counter area, search for something, anything." Ordered Ziva, she was desperate for more clues, anything that could help her to find out just why this had happened to her friend. Tony went near the counter area when he saw three photo frames, he picked them up and there were no photo's in any of them. "Zee." He called and Ziva turned and looked at what he was holding, empty photo frames. She walked over and spotted something on the counter, a large packet of tea, opened tea with two cups. "Tony where does the water supply come from if it was to be supplied here?" asked Ziva. "The water tank out the back." He answered and Ziva looked to the side door were bullets holes were, fresh bullet holes. She ran out the door with Tony hot on her heels, she powered towards the water tank and there it was, a water jug. "Someone was here with her, on her side. He must have survived. The condensation on the jug and the water spill, this was dropped and left here by someone obviously in a hurry to get out of here or to go and protect someone." Explained Ziva as she pieced together her own theory. Tony listened to every word she said carefully and took everything she said on board as a possibility. The more Tony thought about it, the more he was coming to his own conclusions. "It was a man." He stated and Ziva looked at him, her eyebrows raised. "The phone calls Zee, there was a man's voice in the background, you and I both know that." He explained and Ziva agreed. They re-entered the diner and looked around for more clues, both of them wanted to shoot the bastard responsible...

* * *

There he sat, usually he would sleep during flights, but not this one and not this time. He fidgeted with the arm rests but kept his eyes forward, this wasn't right, something just hinky as Abby would say. He couldn't put his finger on it but there was just something, well hinky. He looked out the window and sighed, God he missed her. The way that she smiled, the glisten in her eyes, a spark perhaps. The way that he could make her angry, just to see the fire in her eyes and best of all, the way she was always caring, especially towards kids, and Carson was the perfect example of that and he actually felt proud. All he wanted to do now was strangle the bastard who had done this.

* * *

She was hungry, no more than hungry, she was going to die of starvation if she did not get food. She hadn't eaten all day, she was kind of expecting to die in the gunfight and she had accepted that, but now that she was actually alive, what would happen now? Okay so that was obvious what she had to do, she had to find and then kill Svetlana, but first no-one could know that she was alive, she had to get out of this place, after the food of course and maybe some meds for the pain. Her stomach felt as if it was going to eat itself if she didn't get something in it soon. "Excuse me?" she said as the nurse passed through. She smiled at Jenny " What can i do for you?" Jen cringed inwardly at the happiness in the woman's voice and wanted to smack the smile straight off her face. "You wouldn't happen to be able to tell me when I can get some food around here, could you?" asked Jenny. "Dinner will be served within the next five to ten minutes sugar, don't you worry now." She said with a bit of a country accent that she had already found irritating. She smiled at the nurse wanting her to leave straight away and she did.

Jenny settled more into the bed that she was sitting up in, she briefly closed her eyes, thinking about the food and how good it will be in those five to ten minutes, eating... Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door and Jenny already hated this hospital, although she hated all hospitals. "Miss Shepard." she heard a voice ask from the door, she looked up to see a woman standing there in a white coat...

"Yes?" answered Jenny and the woman came into the room and sat in the spare chair, opposite the bed. She extended her hand and Jenny took it, she was a brunette with blue eyes, a little like Jethro's yet still so different. "I'm Doctor. Janice Walker, I'm your doctor whilst you'll be here." she explained and Jenny nodded.

"Okay, so basically the reason why I've come to visit you is just to let you know what is going on. You were shot with poisoned bullets, we retrieved them all and we have flushed out your system, so you'll be fine. She bullets didn't hit anything, in fact you'll be fine within a couple of days, you'll just need bandaging and medication for the pain. But aside from that, when the paramedics actually came to get you, everyone thought that you were dead. The NCIS agents that called don't know about your survival and I'm leaving that decision up to you, whether or not you want them to know." she explained and Jenny took all of the information in. "I think it would be best if they didn't know." Jenny said and the Doctor just nodded. "Okay, that's fine. We have some fresh clothes for you since you can't stay in the hospital gown forever and your old clothes are covered in blood, poison and have bullet holes in them. I have also made you an appointment with Mark Thomson, he's our psychologist, just to make sure that you are fine mentally, it's standard procedure." she explained and gave her the time for tomorrow morning and Jenny seriously hated this hospital even more, if that was even humanly possible.

* * *

Tony looked at the somewhat emotionless look on Ziva's face, he knew that she had reverted to mossad mode but he also knew that her and Jen were close. "She must have known him well." she stated matter of factly. Tony looked at her slightly perplexed, "Why would you say that?" he asked curious to know what she knew. "Jenny wouldn't call for back up if she didn't trust the person." stated Ziva as she took a deep breath. Tony said nothing, Ziva screwed up her face. "What?" he asked her, expecting her to say something stupid. "You can't smell that?" she asked instead. "Smell what Ziva?" he asked her back as he tried to smell the scent in the air. "It's faint but there." she explained as she walked around the diner to find the source of it. She found it without much trouble, it was coming from the fireplace. The strange smell was a burnt ash smoke but different at the same time. She bent down and placed her hand in it, feeling ash on her fingertips. She looked at her hand and she could tell that this was freshly burnt. "Found the missing photo's." stated Ziva and Tony knelt down beside her and looked in the fireplace. "Someone burned them." she said as she looked into his eyes. "What was on them, do you think?" asked Tony. Ziva was coming up with all the bright idea's. "Information on some sorts that couldn't be risked to be taken and put into the wrong hands. High Intel perhaps." said Ziva as she was voicing her ideas and opinions. Tony nodded as he agreed with her, there was just some unsettling feeling deep in the bottom of his gut, and if there was something that Gibbs had beaten into him, and that was literally, it was to always trust your gut, no matter what it tells you. If only he could figure out what...

* * *

The plane had just landed, Gibbs got up from his seat when it was all clear and grabbed his duffle bag from his feet were he had it resting the entire trip. He walked down the stairs and through the gates to the street where he got in the car that was waiting for him. "Probie listen i gotta tell you something" Franks said as he drove along the dirt road. "Shoot." said Gibbs as his gaze was fixated on the scenery in front of them. "Well you know you're lady Madam Director?" asked Franks  
"She's a hard woman to forget Boss." answered Gibbs  
"She died protecting someone Probie." he revealed  
"Who?" asked Gibbs  
"This might be a reminder, you remember the word Oshimida?" continued Franks and Gibbs' body tensed. His fists clenched and then unclenched. "We got out clean." stated Gibbs  
"Not as clean as you thought obviously." stated Franks and Gibbs had to restrain himself for giving Franks a good glare. "What the hell are you on about? We shot those bastards and got out." Gibbs snapped. Franks let out a small chuckle before returning serious. "Did you make sure that Jenny got out clean as well or did you have your mind on something else at that time?" he said glancing over to see Gibbs tensed and glaring at the road ahead of them. "That's what I thought Probie." said Franks smartly but Gibbs new better than to comment, no matter how much he wanted to.

"She loved you, you know, she told me, darn shame that you two were both so stubborn otherwise you two coulda had somethin," he said in a softer voice so that Gibbs could take it in. "I loved her too, I proposed to her and she left me, she told me there would be no off the job, what was i supposed to do?" Gibbs bit back in a tone harsher than he meant. "If you loved her so God damn much, then you could of at least chased after her instead of letting her go!" scolded Franks to his former Probie. "I tell you Probie, you're a fool. A big fool" he continued on.  
"It was complicated and it became even more complicated when she became director, but i still loved her, God I would have died to protect her." he answered in a somewhat calmer tone. "She died to protect you and she regretted leaving you if it's any comfort, we're here." he said as he parked the car. Both men sat there in the car, none of them made a movement to even suggest that they were going to get out the car. They both just simply sat there, glued to their seats. "Who protected her Mike?" asked Gibbs, his voice pure sadness and for once, Franks felt a little speechless. "I was, I was out back when they got here. She suggested some tea, I went to get water from the tank. Heard gunshots, ran back but I was too late. I shot all four of the men in the head to make sure they were dead. Look, I did all I could." said Franks and Gibbs put his hand over his mouth, thinking. "So you're telling me that you let Jen die because of some tea!? Is that what you just told me Franks? You went to get water because that tea was more important than Jenny's life! Huh?!" he shouted harshly and it made Mike cringe. "What's done is done now Probie." said Franks as he got out the car. Gibbs followed suit, "Your right, yet again i wasn't there to save the woman that i loved, because yet again there was something else that needed my attention except this time, there was someone who could have saved her- you" he stated bluntly cutting Franks deep like a knife, he knew all about Shannon and what Gibbs had gone through then and now, he was responsible for not stopping from happening again this time. "What's done is done isn't it" he added before storming off inside the diner. Not bothering to look behind him, all he saw was the saddened and somewhat shocked faces off Tony and Ziva.

"Uh Boss" Tony said slightly shaken by the heated exchange of words between the two other men, they had heard somewhat of the conversation, their voices were loud and clear. Gibbs looked at him and glared making tony swallow hard.... "Uh... I don't want to get in the middle of your conversation that you two where having but um.... Vance is here, I think you should go see him Boss." Tony stated quickly. Gibbs looked around the diner, things were bagged and tagged. "What the hell have you two been doing?" asked Gibbs, pissed off, he hadn't ordered them to do squat yet. "I told them too, Special Agent Gibbs." said a voice of a newcomer and Vance came into view.

Gibbs glared at the man. "My team were here first so why are my orders not valid all of a sudden?!" he snapped at the man standing before him. Vance smirked. He had always irritated Gibbs and he had pissed Jenny off immensely and Gibbs hated the fact that he was now over seeing this investigation. "Agent Gibbs. you are aware that I am now the director so i call the shots and i think it would be best if your team don't participate. They are too involved emotionally. " he said in a patronizing tone that made Gibbs want to strangle him.

* * *

The nurse walked into Jenny's room with her dinner, if that is what you would call it. "Here's ya dinner Ms Shepard." she said, her southern accent and happy persona all together affecting Jenny. "Thanks." she said as she smiled wishing that the nurse would just leave. the sooner she got out of here the better. She lifted the lid of off the bowl, chicken Caesar salad. At the least the food looked decent, right now she was starving and would eat anything, she grabbed her fork and took a piece of the chicken on it ate it. it was slightly flavourless but nonetheless edible. The nurse left the room to deliver more meals to more patients and left Jenny alone to eat her dinner.

* * *

Abby hugged Bert to her chest and then she heard his famous farting noise, echo throughout her lab. It always made her smile at least a little, no matter how she was feeling. She drifted her gaze, back to the computer screen, the screensaver was a different photo, still of Jenny but this one was taken when Carson was here. It was when the three of them, Jenny, Gibbs and Carson were all standing together like a family. She redirected her gaze back to Bert, "She can't be dead. Daddy needs Mommy." she said almost silently to the toy, at least there was someone or something that understood Abby and was always there, and also never judged her.

* * *

He knew that Abby was taking it hard, she didn't have any family left and he knew that she considered Gibbs and the Director to be her parents of a sort. He didn't know what to do to help her this time, she had blocked him out and didn't want to talk, she just clung to the hope that the director might still be alive. him on the other hand, he had a family, parents and a sister, yet the team at NCIS had given him a family life that he had never known, and right now all that he wanted was to just be Probie again without the tragedy of losing his family.

* * *

He sat at his desk in autopsy and pulled out a picture. one that was taken what seemed a lifetime ago. it was of him Jen and Gibbs when they were in Paris, he could see by the way that she looked at Gibbs just how much she truly cared for him and by the look on Gibbs' face just how much he needed her to help him. to stop his demons. "If only you weren't so stubborn and you had gone after her Jethro." he said to himself. "My dear boy, you were a fool not to chase after her." He said to the silence.

* * *

The food on some level was okay, it was editable, although all hospital food generally tasted like rubber, she'd prefer cafe meals any day. Worst of all, they didn't serve alcohol and she wasn't allowed to have coffee whilst her stay here. She knew that she had to bust herself out of this joint. It wreaked of antiseptic stench and it made Jenny want to hurl, the good thing was that she had some restraint. She was interrupted once again by the 'hospital staff' or as Jenny saw them as pure annoying idiots. "How was your dinner sugar?" asked that nurse that always seemed to check up on Jenny every twenty minutes. "Good, thanks." she forced herself to say with a smile, she gritted the words between her clenched teeth. All her self control being used to make sure that she didn't slap the smile off the woman's face, in Jenny's opinion she was far too happy to work in a hospital. Jenny got out of the bed with help from the nurse, Jenny wasn't too pleased about that fact. She had learnt that the annoying nurses' name was Samara, quite a pretty name, just an annoying woman. Samara led her down the hallway and to a doorway, she punched in a code on the door which Jenny took note off. _48651129. _Samara opened the door and Jenny went into the room, it was deserted apart from a few other nurses. '_Hospital Personnel.' _Jenny thought to herself. Samara led her towards a big wardrobe, near a drinking fountain. Samara opened the two doors of the wardrobe closest and Jenny looked at the clothes. There were all types of clothes in there, t-shirts, jeans, skirts, night gowns. Jenny picked out a plain black t-shirt and a pair of blue straight leg jeans. They looked alright and she hoped that they fitted. She grabbed a pair of black skinny jeans that were torn in a few places, maybe that was a cheap skate way of vintage? She grabbed another black t-shirt and nodded her thanks to Samara. Samara closed the wardrobe and then led Jenny back to her room. "Now sugar, if it doesn't fit, let me know and we can find some other clothes for you. Okay?" she said with her accent. Jenny smiled. "Thank-you but I'm sure that they will fit fine." Said Jenny. She wasn't planning on staying much longer. Samara left her alone and Jenny tried on the pairs of clothes, the pairs of jeans fitted fine, and the shirts were a tad too big but it didn't matter all too much.

* * *

The evidence was bagged, tagged, everything on record, photographs taken, measurements, the whole deal. Gibbs was angry, no he was more than angry, he wanted blood on his hands. He wanted the bastard that did this to suffer the way that he was and to feel the pain that he felt.

"Enough." Stated Gibbs flatly, today had taken its toll on him and he needed some sleep although he already knew that sleep wouldn't come, not tonight. Although his team needed to rest, they needed their strength, they needed to stick together, for Jenny's sake, it's what she would of wanted if she were alive. "Let's get to the hotel, come on, now!" he barked at the team as they stood there. Vance had left, as had Franks. He couldn't look into the eyes of Mike Franks, not now, not after what had happened. He walked over to the car and got in the driver's seat slamming the door closed with a force that had come from nowhere. "Christ Jen. Why'd ya have to do this?" he muttered to himself. Tony and Ziva rushed out to the car and they both got into the backseat of the car. No-one wanted to be near Gibbs now, the three of them were morning in their own way, Gibbs just had more of a way of showing it. He took off, slamming his foot, hard on the accelerator and the car took off at once, the dusty road felt like it went on for miles and miles. The car was speeding so fast that Tony and Ziva were holding on tight to the doors, like they were clinging for their lives. They were going at least five times over the legal speed limit, and you'd think that being a federal agent and all, you know working for the government and everything, you'd think that they'd obey the law, not Gibbs, not today.

* * *

In the darkly lit room, an office perhaps, deep in the country, somewhere that won't be found easily.  
"Is it done?" asked a woman with a thick and heavy Russian accent.  
"Taken care of." answered the man  
"Good." she replied. She lit up a cigarette and offered the man one, he declined such an offer. "May they all go to hell." she said before she inhaled more of the poisonous nicotine mixture of tobacco. "They shall." answered the man as he took a drink of his scotch. "They killed him and now they shall pay, all of them." she said in anger as well as pain. She inhaled more of the cigarette, it was taking the edge of slightly. It had taken her this long to find them, to find a clue to lead her to them. She was devastated when she found her lover, shot. She was bringing him news that she was pregnant but instead of them celebrating that night, she sobbed and sobbed over finding her lover dead, the love of her life, gone forever. Now it was time for revenge.

* * *

'How in the world can i get out of here?' Jenny wondered to herself. She couldn't just walk out. 'There has to be something that I could do, even as a distraction...' she thought 'Think, think, think.' Then she spotted the sprinklers and fire alarms, "I've got it." she said to herself quietly with a devious smile. She settled down on the hospital bed as much as she could and she closed her eyes, to try and get as much sleep as possible before she had to go and see that stupid therapist.

* * *

A/N: Hey! **_Thanks for all the reviews, alerts and even fav story's!_** Maddy and I love you all!!!! Please **_Review_**? You know you want to, they make us type faster... Also because we are so nice and have some of the next chapter written, Maddy and I thought it was time for our first **snippet** for you guys...

_"How dare you sit in your chair and criticise me? Question me with all of your bullshit when you don't know me in the slightest! Keep your mind in your own business and not mine, you asshole!" Jenny shouted at the male therapist. She lunged at him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "So help me God if you don't shut the fuck up and leave me alone, I will come after you." She promised him. Nurses could hear the shouting from outside and entered will a high concentrated tranquilliser that would knock her out. Jenny didn't hear the door open, she was blinded by her rage and anger. The next thing she knew was she felt a prick in her arm and a liquid being pushed into her body. "This doesn't end here." She gritted in between her clenched teeth and then she fell limp. _

**Don't forget to Review!**


	5. Chapter Four

Chapter Four- Therapists

She lay there in the hospital bed spinning the eternity ring around on her finger, what she wouldn't give to be with him at the moment. She guessed that he would have taken this hard, 'We had gotten so close, maybe he does still have feelings for me, but why did he turn me down that night that i had Carson, he just left, why the hell am i even thinking this?' she thought to herself as she spun the ring again. She laid her head back on the pillow and thought of the many times that he had comforted her, they way that he could always make her smile. She drifted off eventually after this.....

_She had just gotten back to the safe house, Jethro was going to kill if he was still awake, and she had a gut feeling that he was awake. She unlocked the front door and pressed on it, she went in, shut the door behind her and leant against it. She closed her eyes, she was panting, her breath coming in short gasps. In an instant, the lights in the hallway flashed on and Jethro was standing there strapping on his gun, he was in his work clothes, not pyjama's. She knew that he had caught her, Ducky came down from the staircase who was in his pyjama's, sipping a cup of Earl Grey. "Where the hell have you been?!" Jethro said in a low voice, he was staring at her, and his gaze was angry. Jenny looked away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. "My dear, you had us worried." Said Ducky in his usual gentle tone. Ducky stood in front of Gibbs and tried to get him upstairs. But that just made Gibbs angrier, "No Duck, it is three in the morning," snapped Gibbs. A wave of guilt washed over her, she looked him the eyes and saw the worried undertones in his expression, he was mad as hell but he was worried and she could of sworn that she saw a hint of fear in them too. "Ducky." She said, her voice husky but it was loud and clear which made Ducky step aside, he sighed and ascended the staircase, he was at the top of the stairs before he turned around. "Behave, both of you, I am not offering any free autopsy's or medical services." Said Ducky as he went into his bedroom. _

_Jenny could feel the anger radiating off of Gibbs. She had expected him to go absolutely rank and maybe lose it at her, but what she wasn't expecting was him basically jumping her, he attacked her lips with his own. She was shaking, it was so cold. He pulled her into a hug and his grip was so tight on her that it was nearly painful. "What were you doing Jenny?" he asked her, desperate to get answers. She had two options, she could lie or she could tell the truth. She preferred the first option, personally. "I was just out." She said, she couldn't improvise or say a lie, a good one at least, she had just found out horrible news. She couldn't believe that she was pregnant, there had to be a mistake, there just had to be, this wasn't happening. "Where were you Jenny?" he asked softly and she felt the guilt rise up throughout her entire body, she couldn't refuse telling him, but how would he react. Perhaps now wasn't the best time, so was never but that wasn't much of an option right now, no matter how much she wanted it. "I..." she started but she couldn't finish that sentence. She was trembling, she was freezing. Gibbs felt her shaking and the temperature wasn't even cold, this made him worry. "Come to bed." He whispered in her ear and she didn't refuse. He picked her up and took her upstairs into their bedroom._

_He kicked the door shut with his foot and laid Jenny down on their bed, she looked so tiny and fragile. "Why are you so cold?" he asked her as he wrapped blankets around her. A million and one answers were rushing through her mind, she just stuttered out the first thing that came to mind. "I don't know." So that was a lie, she knew why but she wasn't about to voice it out. He cradled her through the blankets and tried to get her temperature higher, he could feel her shivering and shaking, he knew that she was scared of something, he just didn't know what. _

_

* * *

_

_She was on the plane, she took off her coat, she knew that he would follow her, Ducky had revealed her pregnancy to him a couple of weeks ago and she decided to keep it, she was three months along and even though she loved Jethro more than anything in the world, apart from her unborn child, here she was on a plane, leaving him. She exhaled a shaky breath, she was having second thoughts, she was having a lot of those lately and now they were overpowering her, more than the past two months._

_

* * *

_

"_I love you Jen." Said Jethro as he rolled onto the other side of the bed, pulling Jen on top of him, they were both breathing heavy, he wrapped his arms around her waist. His hands stroked over Jen's not so flat stomach any more, the little bump that was appearing now, it was a protective move that he always seemed to do, even in public which was starting to grate on her nerves. "I love you too bubby." He always said as he did this exact movement. Jen shut her eyes, she was tired and in a few hours she'd be undercover with him again. It didn't feel like much acting, it all felt natural, most of it. Jethro ran a hand up and down her curves before she fell asleep to his heavy breathing that sounded like her perfect lullaby. _

_

* * *

_

_She swiped the brush she used for her blush, across her cheek once more. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and she had a gut feeling and it wasn't a good one. She put on her black wig and adjusted it to perfection, she turned to her right and saw Gibbs at the study desk coping the dates to paper from the photo's that Decker had given them. She looked at him and paid close attention, she felt shaky, as if this was going to be her first kill. She tried swallowing the lump in her throat but nothing would diminish it. She didn't even notice herself staring at him but when he looked up at her, he was silent, after the silence of two minutes, he spoke up. "What?" he asked innocently and Jenny was caught by surprise, after two attempts of speaking with no sound resonating from her mouth. He was at her side in an instant. "What was your first kill like?" she forced out. _

"_Are you feeling okay?" he asked trying to feel her forehead but she slapped his hand away. "Fine." she answered, she had no idea why she felt like this. It was starting to make her feel extremely nauseas. She could feel it rise in her throat, the lump expanded. 'Oh Shit.' Was her first thought, she got up to quickly and she swore that the room was spinning. Jethro was beside her but she ran to the bathroom, just making it to the toilet bowl before she hurled up majority of her stomach contents. Her deep breaths, the feeling in her gut was still there, she knew something was not right or something bad was going to happen. Gibbs went into the bathroom with a wet washcloth and placed it in her hands, he prepared her toothbrush as well which she accepted all of the items. _

_After she had cleaned herself up, flushed the toilet and reapplied her make-up, she undid her robe that she had on. She was wearing a dress made out of sequins and beds, she looked like a showgirl. A showgirl with many concealed weapons or her, she walked back out to the room that they were both in before with Gibbs hot on her heels. She sat down in the chair she was seated in before and felt Jethro's hands rest on her shoulders, he placed a kiss on her right shoulder, letting his lips linger for a second and then reassured her that everything would be okay and fine. _

* * *

"_Jenny?" he asked quietly as he knocked on her bedroom door. She was staring off into space, she hadn't been out of her bedroom in two days, she had the door locked and she had refused to talk for even longer. Her head was still throbbing as if she had just found out the news a few minutes ago, minus all of the crying. She felt so much weaker, ever since Jethro had found he at the airport, he had chased after her and when she revealed the new that she was pregnant, they were happy. Happier than ever, but now she knew that they could never be happy, not after this. She had decided to leave him once again but this time, this time was permanent, no contact, no more Jethro in her life. There was just so many things going on in her mind at the moment that she was finding it hard to breathe and she wasn't sure what was harder, walking away or losing the baby. She hated herself, she had locked herself away from the world and to the people that she held closest to her heart and then gradually she locked herself in her bedroom. It had been a long week, Gibbs had nearly broken the door down on several occasions until he heard Jenny scream at him to leave her alone followed by heart-wrenching sobs which broke his heart more than anything so he had let her be each time. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than necessary but the only thing he wanted to do was take her in his arms and keep her safe, he was blaming himself as well, he wasn't there to protect her or their unborn child. It was literally killing them both on the inside. He was worried sick about Jenny, she was his main concern, she hadn't eaten much, she was always sleeping or crying and she refused human contact with anyone, unless it was through a text message which was usually in capital letters and many exclamation marks at the end, telling him to 'FUCK OFF!!!!!!' or to 'STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!' This was their only communication over the past two days. Things weren't going well at all and the only thing keeping him a tiny bit sane was Ducky reassuring him that Jenny was simply mourning, it wasn't keeping him that sane though, in fact it was driving him more insane but the times when he was able to sneak into the room by picking the lock and seeing her asleep, it was the reassurance that she was still alive and breathing. He wouldn't know what to do without her..._

_

* * *

_

_Another tear rolled down her cheek as she finally came to terms that her unborn child wasn't going to be in the world in the upcoming months. The pain was almost unbearable, she refused to face Jethro, she couldn't. There was nothing else to say to him or to say to anyone at this point, there was no more playful games to play with each other anymore, it was time for her to walk away. She was alright, she could handle this, she felt like she was on a high, even though she was far from it. A new beginning that was her life, her new mission, she was turning down another path, her career, she was choosing career over love. The only thing keeping her awake from now on was knowing, there was nothing left to hurt her, break her or bring her down... And there was no-one around anymore to fool around with her heart, she had no more time for anymore to muck around with her feelings, now was the time that she could prove that she was all that she believed in. They were both at the end, no more stupid lies that they both had to live, the secrets they kept from each other, she was better off without him by her side. There would no longer be a you and I. She didn't care what other people said, it wasn't any of their business. He could do what his heart desired and she wouldn't of cared, he could fool around with whoever he wanted to fool around with, he wasn't her problem anymore. When the day turns into night, she would do something to forget about all the times that there was an us. And when she would think of how he treated her, he proved her right on so many occasions at work but then again she had proved him wrong too, it was going to be hard but deep down, she knew that she would be able to do it, she had too._

_

* * *

_

_It had been six years, give or take a few months. She had given up so much yet she had gotten so far in her career, she had excelled so much that she had now been promoted to the Director of NCIS! It was truly incredible just how well she had done and far she had gotten, it was so surreal. She was sitting in MTAC, watching another anti-terrorist operation, she just had one more mission to do until she was officially the Director of NCIS, and that was facing someone of her past. Leroy Jethro Gibbs.__ The man that she had thought she would never see again in her life, the only man that she had ever truly given her heart to.__ Although she'd never admit it to anyone, least of all herself, it just simply wasn't allowed, she had made her decisions for many reasons and she couldn't just give up everything on the one man that now probably hated her with a passion. __She had been the one six years ago that had shattered not only his heart but his whole world when she had left and now she had to see him again and she wasn't sure if she could trust her emotions not to betray her, he was after all the only person that had ever been able to read her like a book. They had been through so much together and she wasn't sure how long she would be able to keep up her cold facade, it had been six years too long. She didn't know what was going to hurt more, seeing the hatred through his expressions or knowing the painful reminders of what they were, what they could of been and now she couldn't help but wonder what life could of been like if she hadn't left, if she hadn't of lost their baby, it would always be one of their unknown secrets to the world but it was also another reason that tore them apart. Another reason that she had given up the chance to be happy, the chance to have the perfect life, not that she wasn't happy with the way her life was now, it was just purely the fact that Leroy Jethro Gibbs was able to make her feel the way that no other could, secure and loved._ _There was one too many things racing through her head, her heart was pounding as she watched the technicians talk in many languages yet she understood them all, they were locking on the van , their target, her heart-rate was through the roof as she clutched the arm rests, digging her fingernails into them, no doubt leaving marks. She didn't know what she was doing anymore, what was the reason that she had been so happy to take up this position. was it because he was here or because it was what she wanted. She could feel his presence, she could smell his cologne that he used to wear, all those many nights ago. It made her feel light-headed, as if she was about to faint, she remembered everything clearly, his touch, the feel of his lips against hers. The way he could bruise her lips with every kiss, like no other man she had been with could. The way that her skin tingled every time that he touched it, and the desire that she could always see in his eyes when they were together._ _The target had exploded from the missile flown directly at it, it was over, the dim lighting of MTAC flashed on at an instant and people began filing out. She would of stood up to but she felt way too light-headed. There were words exchanged on congratulations and good jobs well done. "Good job everyone." Said Jenny to keep up appearances, it would not look good for her not to say anything at all. She could hear the soon to be former Director, Thomas Morrow say some words before she thought it was time to stand up, so she did, reluctantly. "He's your problem now Director." Said Tom before walking out and her heart skipped a beat, her breathing had increased. She stood there and saw him out of the corner of her eye as she watched the rest of the people file out the door, she tried to smile but she couldn't too many painful memories that she had long ago buried where coming to the surface. Everyone had left the room aside from the technicians, she felt really faint, nevertheless, she turned around, perhaps a little too quickly, one look at him and she thought her heart stopped, she shut her eyes and let her body fall to the floor. The clip holding her hair up fell out and landed next to her body, her red curly hair covered her face, masking her face to the world. "Damn Jen, you never could pace yourself." he muttered as he held her limp body in his arms. he knew that face better than anyone aside from her and cone to think of it he knew that body better than most too, he could feel her heart beating a million miles an hour and smirked slightly. 'Some things never do change.' He thought to himself as he picked her up and held her in his arms. _

_

* * *

_

_She stared at the photograph at William Decker's funeral, as Director she didn't have to be here in L.A. But as an old agent and as an old friend, it was her duty to be at least in attendance, she picked up the pen and began writing in the book. Tony and Ziva were accompanying her for 'security purposes'. She was writing down a final goodbye for Decker, when she heard a man ask. "Sorry, what was that name again?" Another male voice answered "Mr. Oshimida." And Jenny's heart skipped a beat. She remembered that name all too all, she lifted her head up as the realisation hit her all at once. "First name?" asked the first man. "Is there more than one?" asked the other man. Jenny dug into her bag and got out her compact with her mirror. "No, sir, in fact, there's nobody here by that name." Answered the first man. "Check again." Ordered the man. "I'm sorry sir but I've checked the registry twice." Jenny was looking at the man who was giving out the orders, "There is no mister Oshimida. But if you'd like to leave your name then perhaps I can..." the man began but the other man walked away. Jenny watched him intently with her compact mirror. When the man walked away, Jenny shut her compact quickly, shoved it in her bag and walked down the steps. She got her phone out as she walked down the steps, getting a little closer to the man. She took a few photo's as she walked along the route she had to take, she couldn't get too close. She took one last one as the car the man got into, drove away. She held the phone firmly in her hand and put her arm by her side. She turned on her heel and walked towards Tony and Ziva. "Director, are you ready to go?" asked Ziva. "No, actually, I'm not." Answered Jenny. This means that Svetlana was alive and she was hunting them all done, one by one. They said Decker died from a heart attack and if Jenny didn't know any better, she would of believed them but now what had happened within the past two minutes, it was safe to say that Svetlana had murdered him and she was next and then Gibbs. Oshimida was their code word, if anything went wrong and only three people knew that word, Decker, Gibbs and herself. _

* * *

_She'd had the conversation with Franks, he knew way more than he should yet he didn't judge her for her decisions, he thought she was stupid for not going and making a difference. The main thing that got to her though was when she said that Gibbs came back to NCIS, it was for the job and Franks seemed to agree with sarcasm. She shut her eyes as she remembered the conversation. "So that explains all the conversations on my boat..." he began, she looked at him with sadness in her eyes, there was no denying anything about how she felt towards Gibbs, she loved him with her all her heart, she always had. "About the job." He stated clearly and she knew that he was being sarcastic because all of the conversations were apparently about her. She flashed her eyes open, Franks had gone out the water tank to get some water for the tea even though she had offered to go herself and he so maturely stated that he needed to take a leak. She had her gun as well as Franks, the diner would provide adequate cover as Franks had assessed, even if he was being a smart ass about it. She saw the car approach, the SUV that she saw that Viggo man get into with Svetlana as the driver no doubt, she was blonde after all, just like all those many years ago. Things were different this time around, she would do whatever it took to protect Gibbs. _

_

* * *

_

_The last thing she remembered was laying on the floor, her face contorted in pain, her eyes sealed shut, she tried clutching something in her hands but it felt like she couldn't move or control any muscle in her body. Then she heard it, one last gunshot that echoed in her mind._

* * *

Tony collapsed onto his bed, the alcohol had finally taken effect, it still didn't numb his emotions though, alcohol was still only very limited on what it could do. He mindlessly fumbled for the bottle that was on the ground next to his bed eventually taking hold of it and bringing the liquid to his mouth. Today had been one of the longest days as well as miserable and the worst part of it was that he blamed himself. He couldn't recall a time when he had been more distraught, no one that he knew and considered to be his family had died and then this. He took another sip of the bottle of scotch that he had in his hand and felt more tears slowly slide down his cheeks, the pain that he felt was unbearable. all that he wanted to do was wake up and for all this to be a nightmare, but that he decided was unlikely. No matter how much he told himself that, he had seen her fragile frame covered in blood laying on the floor of the diner. He took another sip this time bigger than the last as he tried to block out the images of her earlier in the diner, the pain was slowly becoming less and less as he closed off his emotions. The last thing that he remembered doing was taking another mouthful of scotch before he passed out totally.

* * *

She stared off into space, maybe it was one of the habits that Jenny had taught her by accident, she had learnt a lot from her. She was like the mentor, mother, boss, partner, best friend and even more than that, she was a hell of a lot more than Ziva could ever ask for. She knew something was... Hinky? As Abby would call it, a feeling, a gut feeling like how Gibbs would describe it. She had learnt so much from all of these people that she called her team, they were virtually a second family, the way they are interacted with each other and the way they worked together, this was nothing like Mossad. These people showed their emotions and talked about what they felt even though sometimes they wouldn't admit it, life just wasn't the same without them all. Jenny was the one person that understood Ziva on so many levels that no-one understood, Ziva had now lost the one person that she could open up to, who she could show emotion in front of, instead of always being the heartless assassin who bottles everything up but she was still a person and she still had a heart. It may not seem to many that she did but Mossad had always taught her to mask what she was feeling, this time however she wasn't sure that she could, she let a small tear escape her eye, God she wished that jenny was there for her to talk to, to hug and to see, but that wasn't going to happen. She was dead, they had seen the body, she saw Jenny's reflection in her own blood and then when she saw the expression of pain across Jenny's face, it made her stomach drop.

* * *

Ducky circled the Autopsy room once more, this may have been more merciful than dying of her disease. He had nearly slipped on the phone with Gibbs, he had thought that she had died in the results of her sickness but when Gibbs clearly stated that she had died from a shootout, he hadn't just lost his boss, he'd lost an old friend whom he would of done nearly anything for. He had lied to another one of his friends, her ex-lover for her, he trusted her with his life, he protected her and guarded her to the best of his ability, that was something that you could die trying to do and he knew that Gibbs knew something was hinky as Abby always called it, he could sense something was not right. That feeling could only be described as Gibbs' gut.

* * *

Jenny gasped as she awoke, her breathing harsh, the rise and fall of her chest was frequent, her heart-rate was through the roof, it felt as if she had just ran at least five miles. She laid her head back down on the pillow even though she knew sleep wouldn't come, she shut her eyes and tried to control her breathing, she was on edge. It felt as if thirty seconds had gone by, it could of been a minute, it could of been an hour. She opened her eyes and looked at the clock on the wall facing opposite her which she had glanced at a few times during her time here. It was a basic black clock with white numbers and red hands that pointed to the time. The hand that measured seconds was bright blue, standing out. She closed her eyes trying not to think of Jethro and the pain that he was no doubt feeling about her death not to mention the way that the rest of the team would be feeling...

* * *

She rolled over the bed once more, she couldn't sleep, although that wasn't any surprise. All of the team had left her and they were all in L.A except McGee and Ducky. She opened her eyes and stared at the plain white wall of her bedroom that had a corkboard on it, filled with photo's of the team, her family, and even more importantly, Jenny. She could feel the tears come to her eyes all too easily. She blinked and felt cool tears slide down her make-up free face. The pictures all varied, there was a few of the team, a few of Kate, of McGee, a few of Jenny and Gibbs together. Mommy and Daddy, Ziva and Tony as well as a few of her and Ducky. The photo's represented what felt to her was family, a now broken family, struck by tragedy.

* * *

Time was on a high, it was going fast for a change, which was a good thing in a small way, it meant that Jenny could get out of this place quicker and she saw that as a sole positive. Less time in there meant that she had more time to form herself a seemingly new life, one where she wouldn't be able to hurt the man that she loved and cause him anymore pain. The annoying nurse as Jenny had now resorted to call her since she couldn't be bothered to remember her name, came into her room with that sickening cheery grin again. Jenny cringed inwardly and forcibly smiled as the nurse asked her how she was. "Great." Answered Jenny, her decoy completely fake.

"That's great sugar!" exclaimed the nurse with that accent that made Jenny want to strangle her, why did Gibbs ever teach her how to restrain herself? Right now, all she wanted to do was smack that smile right off of her face. "You have your appointment with Mark on the ground floor in ten minutes sugar, so you should get yourself dressed." Suggested the nurse and Jenny just nodded and the nurse left her to herself. Jenny got out of the hospital bed, her wounds were healing fast, she'd always been a fast healer, or maybe that was the painkillers kicking in? Either way, she felt better than she had in the past twelve to twenty-four hours. She made her way to where she had placed the clothes that the hospital had given her, she pulled on the black skinny jeans that she had picked out and slipped the over sized T- shirt over her head tying the side so that it gave her a more shapely figure. The sooner that she got this meeting over with the sooner she could go and leave this hole behind.

She left her room and made her way to the nearest elevator, it wasn't much of a walk and she liked it, she had always been a fan of walking and running. She stepped into the elevator where she saw a paramedic, she smiled, she looked like a nice person.

"Ms Shepard, it's nice to see that you are recovering." The young girl of about 23 said as she saw Jenny. Jenny paused. "Um, yeah. Thanks." she said unsure of the younger woman. "Oh I'm sorry. We haven't been introduced." said the women as she extended her hand. "I'm Julia Saunders, one of the paramedics that brought you in." She introduced herself and explained. Jenny's face went from confused and a sense of being unsure to realisation and thanks. She extended her own arm and took Julia's. "Oh please call me Jenny, pleasure to meet you Julia and thank-you for saving my life." Said Jenny with a real smile, she had already taken a liking to Julia. "Anytime." She responded. "You wouldn't happen to know where Mark's office is?" asked Jenny. Julia smiled, "Oh, you're off to see a therapist?" she asked quite clearly surprised. "By force, I can assure you." Said Jenny with a hint of amusement. Julia let out a small chuckle. "I can imagine." She commented and Jenny agreed with her, the elevator doors opened and Julia and Jenny stepped off, it was the ground floor already. "Do you know where to go?" asked Julia. "Not particularly." Said Jenny.

"Keep walking down the corridor, his office is on your second left. He can be an asshole, just so you know." Said Julia, directing her and also giving her a pre-caution. "Thanks for the warning, I'll try not to let him spike my blood pressure too much." Said Jenny with a genuine giggle "Thanks again Julia." She said as she walked off, down the corridor. It wasn't that far, it felt like a matter of steps and poof, she was there already. She knocked on the door. "Come in." Answered a deep male voice. Jenny opened the door and went into Mark's office.

* * *

Gibbs had another sip of his steaming coffee, he hadn't had one moment of shut eye and he wasn't planning on getting any either, he was on a caffeine high, he had to avenge her death, he needed blood on his hands, Svetlana was going to die. "Boss are you sure that you want to be here? " DiNozzo asked when he noticed the bags under his boss' eyes. Gibbs nodded then whacked Tony alongside the back of the head, "What was that for?" Tony asked as he moved away and rubbed his head. Gibbs glared at him, "That was for thinking that I wouldn't want to be here to oversee the investigation of the woman that I..." he stopped and thought about. what he should say, he couldn't tell them all that he loved her, that would shatter rule 12 into pieces and yet he didn't want to deny the feelings that he felt for her, "Boss. Boss." Tony said waving his hand in front of his boss' face. Gibbs looked at him and shook his head and walked out the door to the dry deserted road that faced him. he just wanted to wake up and all this be a nightmare, he longed to hold her in his arms, he knew that something with the whole case was amiss but he couldn't place it. He just wished some miracle, maybe the impossible? He just wanted Jen back.

* * *

Jenny sat down in a chair opposite this therapist and she already didn't like him. "An interesting thing that you're doctors have told me is that you scream a name in your dreams" said the therapist, she couldn't care less about his name. She had no interest in it and she didn't need a therapist to criticise her.  
"Many people sleep talk" she said flatly

"Does the name Gibbs ring a certain bell?"

She stared at her hands and started to twist her eternity ring. "So what if it does. what has that got to do with anything?" she replied dryly. He looked at her intensely studying her, that was when he noticed that she was playing with the diamond eternity ring. "Nurses here have informed me that you have a case of talking in your sleep as well as crying." the Therapist continued.

"Did this Jethro buy you that ring?" he inquired.

"That's need to know and you don't." she denied, he didn't need to know a thing about her life. She glared at him as he stared at her. "You know I would be guessing that he did simply by the fact that when i mentioned him and the ring you became all defensive and shut me out."

She glared even more at him. her loathing of him and the whole hospital for that matter becoming more and more with every passing moment.

"I don't have to tell you a thing about my life and you don't need to know." If there was one thing that she needed it was to get out of there away from the pain that it caused. Too many times had she seen Gibbs in a hospital bed clinging to life. the man that she loved lying there helpless unable to move and the fact that she was now in a hospital herself was making those memories more and more vivid. She wanted to see him wanted to hug him not be in a stupid therapy session. She began twitching, unintentionally of course. She couldn't help it, it was just one of those things that she couldn't stop even though, she was trying her hardest too. "A birdie told me that you say in your sleep and this is quoted from you 'Jethro, I'm sorry I hurt you, I love you, all I want to do is be with you and forget everything that happened' So why don't we try this again? Who is Jethro?" said the therapist. The nervous twitching she had had now gone into overdrive, he aimed directly in one of her most sensitive spots and he knew it and that made her pissed beyond belief. Her hatred for this man grew even deeper if that was even possible. She had tears slowly form in her eyes and she was blinking them back as quick as she could but it was too late, the stupid therapist had already noticed. "Who Jethro is happens to be none of your fucking business." she spat out standing and wiping away the tears. "Oh but it is Ms. Shepard see i have a duty of care and responsibility to know that you are of a right mind. " he said flatly "I would advise that you don't walk out that door."

"How dare you sit in your chair and criticise me? Question me with all of your bullshit when you don't know me in the slightest! Keep your mind in your own business and not mine, you asshole!" Jenny shouted at the male therapist. She lunged at him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "So help me God if you don't shut the fuck up and leave me alone, I will come after you." She promised him. Nurses could hear the shouting from outside and entered will a high concentrated tranquilliser that would knock her out. Her blood pressure had spiked. Jenny didn't hear the door open, she was blinded by her rage and anger. The next thing she knew was she felt a prick in her arm and a liquid being pushed into her body. "This doesn't end here." She gritted in between her clenched teeth and then she fell limp.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! Sorry for the long update intervals - the next update will be up very soon! Don't forget to review and let us know what you thought or if you have any idea's on what you'd like to happen - just leave a review or send me a PM to let us know and we'll see what we can do. x)


	6. Chapter Five

Chapter Five - Dreams, Undiscovered Emotions and The Enemy

* * *

_She could hear voices but they all seemed so far away, miles away. "Jenny?" asked a deep male voice, it wasn't far away; it was right in her ear. "Wake up sleepyhead or I'll have to pour water all over your hair..," he said and her eyes shot open. She sat up in bed, why did Jethro always have to be an early riser. He chuckled when he saw the look of dismay that spread across her face when she saw the alarm clock. 5:30am. She laid back down and closed her eyes as her head hit her pillows. "You're sleeping on the couch tonight." She muttered.  
"We'll be late if you don't get up." He said smug and she ignored him, which made him smirk. He grabbed his pillow and hit her with it. _

_"Honey, you can wake me up in four hours." She said and the sleep was evident in her voice. _

_"Don't you want to open your present?" he asked quietly. That made her wide-awake; she'd been waiting for this for too long. She flung the covers off her, which hit Jethro, and she jumped off the bed, ran out of the room, bolted down the stairs, and ran into their living room, they'd begun living with each other six months ago. She saw a beautifully wrapped white rectangular box, decorated with golden ribbons in bows. She felt Jethro grab her behind her waist, he held her against his chest. She turned in his arms and she kissed him on the cheek. "This is going to be the best birthday, apart from you waking me up at midnight but the i love you was so sweet." She said with a big smile. _

_"Go on and open it." He whispered in her ear and he ran a hand up her back. She turned again, leaving his warmth and picked up the gift. She undid each of the bows carefully, she undid the ribbons just as carefully and then she lifted the lid off her gift and she gasped, it was beautiful. He had bought her a white cashmere coat from when they were in Paris last year and he'd been saving it for her birthday, on top of the coat was three boxes from Tiffany's. She picked up one of the boxes and opened it; it was a white gold bracelet with a diamond J. She picked up the other two boxes and opened them, one contained a white gold necklace and it had an identical J that was on the bracelet except bigger and the other box had a pair of diamond earrings. She placed them all on the coffee table and she picked up the coat, she turned it around a few times, inspecting it. She placed it back in its box and turned around to see Jethro staring at her intently. She stood up and attacked his lips, __she was acting on her impulses, it was time to thank him for what he'd bought her, and it would have costed a fortune. She wound her arms around his neck and his somehow managed to rest on her waist. "I love you." She murmured against his lips as he backed her towards the couch. _

_"I love you too Jen." he murmured against her lips, Jenny felt the couch press into her calves so she sat down on it, it was a bit of an odd angle but it wouldn't matter in ten minutes give or take. _

_"Jethro!" she moaned as she felt his lips on her neck, right where one of her turn-on spots were. She didn't need any teasing, she just needed him. __She grabbed the hem of his shirt; curse him to actually decide to wear a shirt. "Off now." she managed to get out before her reclaimed her lips. They broke apart as she pulled his shirt off over his head. __She'd already managed to get out of her silk nightgown. He smiled at her there in front of him wearing only her black and red lace panties. The ones that matched the bra he loved so much. __He was wearing a belt on his jeans, what was he doing in jeans at five in the morning!? She undid his belt; he was by far her favourite present on any birthday. Leroy Jethro Gibbs was a strange man. She unbuttoned his jeans and pulled the zipper down as she managed to pull them down which in turn revealed his boxers. "Christ Jen." He muttered against her chest as he kissed her sternum area. Her hand went straight to his crotch and she began massaging him lightly, the other hand was gripping his shoulder. "Don't tease, Jen." He growled at her. _

_"I could say the same thing to you Jethro." she said, he rolled his eyes and undid her bra expertly. She gripped his hand just before he could go any further, she moved it away from her panties and she removed one of the final pieces of fabric that was separating them. She wrapped her long legs around his waist to try to bring him closer and as close as she could. She was going to shatter his control. There still was one thing in between them and that was his damn boxers. She wanted to rip them apart; they always seemed to look better on the ground anyway._ _She pushed them down his hips before guiding them the rest of the way with her legs before returning them to his hips. J__ethro shoved them down again, "Jen." he growled at her and she had an innocent look on her face. __"You know what's wrong." he growled at her._

_She kissed him on the chest, before licking one of his nipples. "Honestly, what's wrong?" she asked. _

_"Never mind." he said after he gulped. He got the rest of his boxers down and was about to enter her when her cell phone rang. She made a move to get up and they could continue their exploits later but that was not going to happen. He pushed her back down on the couch. "Rule number three, never be unreachable." She said. "It'll only take a second." she continued_

_"They can leave a message." he grumbled._

"_What if it is important?" she whined._

_"Like this isn't important." he said clearly annoyed_

_"Sounds like someone's not happy today." Jenny said quietly as her phone rang out. 'Mission, nearly accomplished.' she thought to herself with a devious smile._

_"I hate interruption." he mumbled. She ran a hand up on his thigh and when it reached his inner thigh, she replaced her hand with her tongue, that made his hips lean forward. With his hands, __he tried directing her head where he was in need of the most attention, but she kept resisting._

"_Jen." he whined which caused her to smirk for one too many reasons. She stood up and he missed the contact of her flesh against his. Then she pressed her body into his and the sudden contact almost made him groan. She slid a leg in between his and she placed both of her hands on his shoulders. She caught his lips in a rough kiss, now she was really going to shatter his control. "Jethro," she whined after she broke of the kiss. "Can't you at least take me up to bed?" He groaned, what was wrong with the lounge? _

_"What's wrong with the sofa?" he asked, he just wanted to take __her hard and fast. _

_"It'll be uncomfortable and it's my birthday." she complained. He grabbed her hand and made his way to the stairs, he dragged Jen behind him as if she was a rag doll, there was no more time for fun and games, no more teasing, this was going to be the real deal. They reached the bedroom quickly as it was the closest room to the stairs, he opened the door and slammed it shut, pressing Jen up against it. He attacked her lips, kissing them as if he was branding them; he caressed her body with his hands as she ran a hand down his chest. She broke off from the kiss, she couldn't breathe and her lungs felt as if they were going to collapse. He slid a leg in between hers, parting her legs and then slid his leg back, for the second time within a short period of time, he was about to enter her but he was interrupted again. "Can't we at least make it to the bed?" she asked breathless, he was literally astounding her. "Jen..." he groaned __as she held her hands up to his chest, "I don't think you realise just how much I need you now." he said slightly pissed that she kept stalling._

_"Bed, now!" she ordered him as if he was five-year-old child. He glared at her as he grabbed her under the knees and around the waist taking her to the bed and throwing her on it before climbing on it himself._ _He pinned both of her hands above her head with one hand and with his __other hand, he parted her legs. He entered her slowly and gently, he got as close as he could, as deep into her as he could, she was so tight. He let go of her hands and they stayed like that for a moment, then his hands flung to her hips and he pushed them into the bed to keep her down. He withdrew from her quickly and dove back in just as fast, she met each one of his thrusts, and mingled moans filled the room. __He smirked as he saw her close her eyes, parting her lips slightly opened as the sound of his name fell from them. __H__e leant his mouth down to her neck and nipped it lightly as he thrust into her again. __This time it was harder. "Aaah," she moaned as she rocked her hips against his, "Don't stop."_

"_Don't worry, I won't." He whispered into her ear before moving his lips to her mouth again._

_

* * *

_

Vance circled the room once more chewing on a toothpick, Gibbs wanted to pull it out of his mouth and then choke him with but that wasn't much of an option. "Gibbs, are you listening to me?" a rather pissed off Vance asked angrily. "Heard every word Leon." answered Gibbs. Vance gave a short nod and looked at the direction of Tony,

"What have we got?" he asked. DiNozzo shrugged, there was not a lot to go on, the bodies were all getting autopsy at a L.A. naval hospital, all of the available evidence had been checked and all of their leads turned out to be dead ends. "Waiting for the bodies to be shipped to DC and the rest of the evidence Sir," answered Tony, "Tyre prints matched a Chevy suburban model, custom made tyres, still looking for plates and a possible id." he continued and Vance seemed satisfied with that answer.

"Anything you'd like to add, Officer David?" asked Vance as he chewed again on his toothpick.

"I think that it is odd that the hospital has not contacted us regarding the bodies but no there is nothing else I would like to add." she said.

Vance thought about what she had said, why they hadn't contacted them about the bodies? He pushed the thought to the back of his mind and looked at them all. They all looked so alone as if their whole world had come crashing down. His eyes lingered on Gibbs, he couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose someone so close, he had lost his partner to an assassin during an undercover operation years ago but he had a feeling that Jenny and Gibbs had been more than partners at one stage.

* * *

"I want that bitch found and I want a bullet in her skull." she commanded, he accent rich, the words rolled off her tongue a little too easily.

"Yes, she shall be dead the moment we find her." answered one of the men that she was standing in front of.

"Keep your word and she had better be or you'll be the one who'll end up dead, I promise you." She countered him.

"As you wish." said the same man. Before they both walked out of the room, they closed the door behind them. She stood up and made her way to her desk and she opened the first draw on the right of the desk. In there was a few photo's on Jenny and Gibbs together, in the same year that they had ruined her life and some in the recent years, it had just taken her so long to find them otherwise this showdown would of happened years ago. "You will both pay for what you did to me, Decker stood no chance, and it'll all be over soon." she said to the pictures as if they were listening intently to her. One of the photo's had Jenny looking squarely at the camera smiling with Jethro on her arm, he held the same expression, it looked as if they were both smiling at the person who was holding the picture but that made Svetlana's blood boil even more.

* * *

Julia walked up the corridor, she'd heard about what happened between Mark and Jenny, and Julia was quite proud of Jenny, she got in quite the mouth load or so she heard. Jenny must have had guts though; she must of if she had taken on Mark. If there was one thing that people at the hospital knew it was that, you don't take on Mark in any way. He was the person that could decide to make or break you. She made a left and walked into Jenny's room, no one else was in there, and by the looks of things, she was starting to wake up, it was late in the afternoon. Jenny's eyes flashed open and she blinked a few times before she registered that someone else was in the room. "Hey Jenny, how are you feeling?" asked Julia. Jenny smiled weakly "I have been better that's for sure, what happened? I remember yelling and then I passed out." she said still slightly groggy.

"Actually it doesn't matter, I just need to get out of here." said Jenny firmly. Julia nodded curious as to why her mood had changed so suddenly. Julia pondered on her possible decisions, help Jenny bust out of here or would she be stuck here for the next six to eight months. Julia knew that physically could be a challenge unless she was on the right meds and Julia could prescribe them. Julia made her decision, "Jenny, how bad do you want to get out of here?"

"Julia, have you ever loved someone so much that to see them in pain cause you pain and that you would so anything to protect them?" she asked with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"No, no I haven't, although, I'm going to help you." Jenny looked at her,

"I dont want you to get into trouble, this is my own battle and i will fight it on my own."

"I know how desperate you want to get out of here and now what has happened with Mark, it's going to be more than difficult." In an instant, she believed Julia, she could tell that she really did want to help, she could see it in her eyes.

"You'll need my help," said Julia and Jenny could see that the woman was sincere, she was putting a lot on the line for her. Jenny smiled slightly,

"Thank you." She said quietly, causing Julia to smile.

"We'll need a distraction, I can drive you into the city or wherever you need to go." suggested Julia, Jenny nodded, she was thinking.

"Have you ever heard of spontanious combustion?" she asked all of a sudden. Julia looked at her slightly taken aback.

"Ummm... Yes I have, but what has this got to do with anything?" she asked slightly nervous.

"I have a plan," concluded Jenny and Julia didn't ask any questions. "We're breaking me out of here tonight." said Jenny as she looked Julia in the eyes. The younger woman looked anxious yet relieved, perhaps to know that she was helping someone.

The agency could use more people like Julia although, she probably wouldn't be able to handle killing someone, and Jenny could do more than understand, she'd been in that exact situation.

She wasnt sure that she would have been able to deal with half the things she had been through if it weren't for Jethro. He had been the one who was always there for her, during her first kill,during all of the times she was scared, he protected her. He had always been the one who comforted her through her nightmares and vice versa, he had been there for just about everything, and it was now killing her for not knowing just how he was holding up. She wanted, no she needed to feel his arms around her, there was the very possiblity that she wouldn't be able to see him, she loved him so much that she just wanted to be happy for once in her life even if it would be short lived. She still had to find out, whether or not it was going to be good or bad.

Julia noticed the faraway look in her eyes and guessed that it had something to do with the ring on her finger that she was playing with. It wasn't on her ring finger however it was on her 'ring finger' on her right hand. She knew that it would have something to do with the man that she loved, it may of sounded cliche, but that's how it usually was in fairytales right? Okay so perhaps not so much in reality, but from the looks of it, Jenny looked like one of those fairytale characters, however her prince charming may of been out on the look out for her, he just didn't know what exactly to look for, and there was also the fact that he didn't know that she was still alive. She had heard some of the nurses talking, gossip was a very big thing in this small hospital. Jenny spoke up, "Thank-you." Julia shrugged,

"I haven't done much yet." she answered.

"For everything you're about to do." Jenny explained and Julia smiled.

"What time would you be thinking that we are going to do this?" Julia asked quietly

"Not too late, not too early either."

"When do you finish your shift?" Jenny asked suddenly. Julia looked at her slightly worried yet curious.

"I finish at five o'clock." Jenny pondered for a moment, 5 o'clock would be the perfect time to pull this get away off and if Julia had finished they wouldnt want to know where she was at that time,

"Ten past." Jenny said quietly. Julia understood immediately and nodded.

"How am i going to know that you are ready and what are you going to do?" she asked slightly worried.

"Spontanious combustion is when something catches on fire for no apparent reason right? Julia nodded as Jenny continued to speak, "In this case, explodes." Julia nodded again

"So if i can make my room spontaniously combust or there abouts it will look as if i died from the explosion, by the time they find that there is no body i will be long gone and they wont suspect you at all."

"You know an awful lot about not getting caught." Julia stated and Jenny smiled at the comment

"I learnt from the best."

"The man that you love I am guessing." Julia said as she saw the look on Jenny's face, Jenny nodded.

* * *

"Gibbs!" called Ziva as she jogged to catch up with him; she needed to tell him about her 'gut feeling'. "Speak Ziva," ordered Gibbs. They walked into his hotel room and sat down at the dining table in there.

"I know that you were her partner and that you will be taking this rough but I was her partner too, not in the same context of course but I knew her as well." Said Ziva, she was trying to make this conversation not so depressing. "What do you mean about the not in the same context part?" he asked her, suspicious on just what she claimed to know.

"Jenny confided in me, more than once, she trusted me with her life," answered Ziva and when she received a short nod as an answer, she continued "You both fell in love with each other, rule twelve was put into place after she broke your heart, she never stopped loving you, she would have nightmares and scream your name, she went into depression and was an adrenaline gunkie." She explained.

"Junkie." He automatically corrected her.

"She threw herself into danger, she wanted the Director's position and she was promised it but at a greater cost than she ever realised. She thrived on killing, she would of made a good assassin but the scariest thing of all, she enjoyed killing because one day she knew that if she kept it up, she'd be able to see you again and be close to you. She snapped out of her depression when she nearly died, I saved her life but it was a narrow escape. The frog nearly sent her over the edge." Explained Ziva, she wasn't expecting him to take any of this lightly but he had the right to know.

"Is there a motive for you telling me all this?" he asked quietly.

"I do not believe that she is dead." She stated firmly, she wouldn't grieve yet, not until this was over.

"What makes you think that?" he asked, his gut was screaming that Jenny wasn't dead either but he couldn't tell Ziva that.

"There are many drugs that people can use to slow the heart-rate down but not stop it; the heart-rate would be virtually untraceable however it is a possibility. It is how you say, strange that the hospital hasn't contacted us about the bodies yet, it is standard procedure unless someone from the agency has contacted them and the only person from NCIS who would have the amount of power to stop that from happening is Jenny. She has to be alive." She told him, she had to convince him. "I have a gut feeling, Gibbs." She stated.

"I thought you called that gas Ziva." Replied Gibbs

"Not that type of gut feeling." She replied to his statement.

* * *

Jenny wandered around the hospital; she had no idea that there was a shop. She walked in and was met with the stench of greasy food. She held her breath for as long as she could, it smelt dreadful. She eyed some items that she thought shouldn't even be selling in a hospital of all places. Cigarettes, lighters and matches. Then that gave her an idea, she could use all of these items to help with her plan. She was about to look further into the store when the need to breathe was overtaking her senses so she walked out of the shop and finally she could breathe without smelling the greasy deep fried foods. Hospitals should be promoting healthy lifestyle products, not unhealthy ones that could potentially kill them. She walked back up to her room and searched the drawers for her purse.

* * *

He blinked his eyes slowly, crying always made him sleepy. It felt like he was at war with the world, he was at war with Franks and he just wanted to strangle Vance. It was dark outside of the hotel; he was on the balcony, overlooking some of the city, the lights of the buildings and cars. He looked down at his gun; it was resting on the glass table next to him. He reached for it and held it in his hands; he turned it around, to make it face his face. He looked at it; he uncocked the safety switch and was contemplating whether or not to pull the trigger. This was the same position he had his gun, all too many years ago in what felt like another lifetime ago. He exhaled a shaky breath; he closed his eyes, feeling the tears coming once again. This would be for Shannon, for Kelly and also for Jenny. He placed his finger on the trigger and was about to pull it when he heard a musical voice light up the atmosphere. His heart nearly stopped, he knew that voice anywhere, Jenny. He removed his gun from his hands, putting the safety switch back on and putting it back in its resting place, on the glass table. He stood up and turned around to see Jenny standing there, the glisten and twinkle in her eyes, the smile that could light up the whole of L.A. He removed his gun from his hands, putting the safety switch back on and putting it back in its resting place, on the glass table. He stood up and turned around to see Jenny standing there, the glisten and twinkle in her eyes, the smile that could light up the whole of L.A.

"Are you just gonna stand there all night, Jethro?" she asked, the amusement affecting her voice.

"Jen?" he asked, all of his emotions were meshing together.

"I must say, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, you are one strange man." she said, the twinkle still evident in her eyes.

"That's what they tell me." he said with a small smile, the edge of all of his pain had numbed. She stepped forward; she was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Her red-hair was down and on her shoulders. She was invading his personal space and he didn't care. She was here, she was okay, and everything would be okay. She hugged him, fitting perfectly in his frame. He rested his arms around her shoulders, inhaling the smell of her hair, her perfume, the smell of... Well, Jenny. Gibbs was so tired, he was struggling to keep his eyes open but he was forcing them to be open now, Jenny was here and he was not giving up this opportunity. His strength was decreasing fast, fading away. "Oh Jenny." he said sadly.

"I'm here Jethro, nothing will tear us apart." she said, her eyes glistened in the moonlight.

"Don't leave me." he pleaded with her. She kissed him on the cheek, the feel of her breath against his skin made him crazy. This had to be real; it felt to real to be a dream.

"I'm awake, I'm alive." she whispered into his ear.

"I can't live without you Jen." he said, not caring that he was being so open about his feelings. He had thought that she was dead, but thank God, she wasn't. Damn bourbon, maybe that was one of the reasons why he was being so open, he lost the reason of caring. "Stay with me, Jethro." she said breathlessly. She could feel her tears coming on, she tried her hardest not to let them fall but they did anyway. The moment he felt the hot tears against his skin, he turned his head and kissed them. "I love you Jenny, I'll always be here for you." he said. He wiped her tears; it was tearing him in half to see Jenny cry.

"That'll be the day." she said

"I love you Jenny." he said again, his voice full of emotion

"I love you too Jethro." she replied. Her tears had stopped, he held on tight to her. "No matter what happens... Stay strong Jethro, for me. When your faith is getting weak, and you feel like giving in. I'll always be there. Believe inside." said Jenny and Gibbs nodded. He didn't say anything, he was just holding onto her possessively. She continued talking even though some of it didn't make sense. "Forever hold this heart I give you, forever I will live for you. I'll stand my ground and never back down. I've already made up my mind." she said. Gibbs again said nothing; he didn't understand half of what she had said. "Go to sleep Jethro." she said

"I'm never letting you go." he said as his grip got tighter, pressing on one of her wounds and she cried out. His grip loosened immediately, "I hurt you?" he said, feeling guilty. Her mind screamed YES! however, she said "No, of course not."

"Is this a dream?" Gibbs asked innocently

"No, it's real." she answered truthfully. She kissed his cheek and then kissed his lips. His tongue slipped into her mouth and her mouth felt like it was on fire. The feeling of being around him, hugging him, kissing him, it was almost too much for her senses to bear. She had to pull away from the kiss, her lungs were screaming for air.

"Will you be here when I wake up?" he asked

"Of course I will be." she answered, her right eye didn't twitch. Technically, she would be here in the morning, just not with him, no matter how much she wanted to be.

"Promise me." he said in a low and dangerous voice that she knew was one not to mess with yet here she was.

"I promise." she answered and she was mentally slapping herself. "Go to sleep, I need to go and see Ziva." she said. She'd packed all of her bags, with everything she needed to be moved into the safe house. It was all in the car and ready to go but she couldn't resist seeing him one last time. Perhaps, it was the security of knowing that he was safe and that she could protect him. However, there was a downside with that motion. She knew that when she wasn't there in the morning, he'd be hell bent on killing Svetlana and everyone else that was behind this. At least he was safe and she knew that he was going to be fine, and that was all that really mattered, at least in her eyes.

* * *

Wow, I know that Maddy and I haven't updated this in quite a while. Okay more than a while, but in both of our defences – we haven't had internet! Although – SHE FINALLY GOT HER OWN FANFICTION ACCOUNT! Her pen name is Black Widow Mistress, so you should check out her profile. LOL. Thank-you to Piper, we will be using your helpful information! Thank-you so much for telling us about it and we hope that you get better. Reviews would be more than loved. They make my day :) In addition, it would really help to make us both better writers and they would just make me smile when I go to check my e-mails. Xx


	7. Chapter Six

_**Just a short chapter to keep you all occupied whilst Maddy and I get our act together.**_

* * *

This was not good, the hospital was in a catastrophe, they had a patient on the loose, a smart one. Jennifer Shepard. He couldn't help but to admire her skill, she'd managed to break herself out of here and not get caught. It was something that was close to impossible to do but it was still do able, she'd proved that already. He was only dreading what would come next...

Reporting back to Svetlana. He knew that she was consumed, obsessed with Jennifer. There would be an interesting back story to the pair of them.

He wondered why she had such a vendetta against Jennifer Shepard. He was interested in what she had done to upset Svetlana so badly. He was vaguely aware that Jennifer was a gunshot victim, he hadn't read in too much into her physical profile.

Although there was one interesting factor that he did manage to come across, he discovered something that the one and only Jennifer Shepard, must've wanted hidden from the rest of the world.

He looked at her profile and went through it mentally, she had a mother and younger brother living in Australia and she also had a sister but there was no location listed and then there was the little fact of her daughter. He had to tell Svetlana straight away.

* * *

Two hours earlier...

Her skin was itching with excitement, she'd packed all her things that she needed, and after all they were easily concealable. She was prepared; nothing would stand in her way. She was going to start afresh knowing that she had done the right thing and that the people she loved and the man that she loved were safe. Besides, she had a new agenda. Things would hopefully go right this time. There was no way that she could mess anything up; here it was a clean slate and a fresh start one where she wasn't under scrutiny or fighting her feelings. A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

"Come in." Jenny called but who came in was not who she was expecting.

Jenny turned to see...

"Vance?" she blurted out before her brain allowed her to register that he knew she was alive. So many questions filled up her mind, how did he find her? How did he know? What did he know? Did anyone else know? What would happen now?

"Hello Jenny." he greeted her.

Jenny nodded in small approval. She gestured for him to take a seat, she however remained silent.

"Well why don't I just get straight to the point?" he asked and Jenny agreed as she eyed him suspiciously.

"No one knows except myself and of course the SecNav." he continued, at least he'd answer a silent question of hers. "We also know about the illness and that you are undertaking experimental drugs to help cure it as well."

Fuck! Jenny screamed through her mind yet her expression didn't change. "SecNav has offered a 48 hour cooling period, however he is not in the loop about why you got shot." he explained.

"And lucky you Leon, you got to be messenger." her voice had become gravelly all of a sudden though her tone held slight amusement in it.

"Part of the job." he said mechanically.

"What are my options?" Jenny asked, caution guarding her.

"If you step down from your post, you will announced as dead and I will step in and become Director, you will be given an Alias and you know the drill, however, if you decide to reclaim for your seat on the Directors chair, whomever is after you must be dealt with in-house and SecNav has also advised for you to have a 6 month leave which will start immediately."

"Have I got a different option?" asked Jenny lightly.

"No." Vance said straight

"Typical."

"I am just the messenger, sorry that you feel that way." he said emotionlessly

"Who else knows that I'm alive?" she asked, curiosity really was getting the best of her.

"No one." he answered

"You'll have my answer in 48 hours."

"I look forward to hearing it" he said as he opened the door to leave

Jenny shut the door behind him, thanking which ever God was listening right now that she was so thankful now that was over.

She exhaled a breath that she didn't realise that she was holding, she didn't want to think, her head was in the clouds and there was no way she wanted to come back down to Earth. She wished that it could all be so easy and simple like it had been in Paris but that was undercover, in the field. This was different, but she had to go through with her plan, she had to leave despite the consequences but she sure as hell wasn't going to tell Vance that.

And the people that would get hurt, she knew that yet it was a thousand times better than putting them through hell as they watched her suffer through her illness, it would have been unfair, cruel almost. She wasn't going to do that to anyone.

Jenny heard another knock at the door and sighed

She opened the door and this time she managed a small smile, Mike Franks.

"Hey." she mumbled as she let him in

"You look good for someone who's meant to be dead."

Mike, he always knows how to charm up the ladies.

"Thanks" she said with a heavy heart.

"Aw red why you so down?" he questioned

"I'm leaving, NCIS and the country."

"Seriously?" he asked and she nodded.

"Well you're more stupid than I thought."

"Mike!"

"It's true."

"I bought him time; my part of the mission is over."

"So you're just gonna let him die."

"Of course not! I gave you all the clues, he can figure it out."

"You 'dying' will hurt him."

"I've already hurt him in the past and he doesn't love me anymore anyway."

"You can try and keep telling yourself that red, but deep down you know that it ain't true. Dammit there is a man that although he may not say it straight out he loves you and would rather die for you than see anything happen to you and you are going to leave that? All because you don't want him to see you at your weakest," he said confused

Jenny shook her head as a tear slid down her cheek

"You're both a pair of lovesick fools."

"He hasn't loved me since I left, he never will cant you understand that?" she said loudly

"Because it's not true."

Jenny slid down the wall to the floor

"This conversation is over, you can leave, Mike."

"I'd rather not."

"It's not optional."

"The same as you leaving isn't optional?" he asked

"Yes, now leave."

"That is optional and you and I know it, now I m not going to tell you what to do but there is a man that has already lost one woman he loved and he is about to lose another, I hate to think what it will do to him."

"GET OUT NOW!" she said loudly

"You don't think that I already know I am going to tear a lot of people apart, I have seen them when they lose a member of their 'family' it's not pretty and I would rather forget the fact that I am going to rip everyone's heart out and throw it away, because I can't handle people seeing me when I am weak" Jenny said emotionally as the tears flowed down her cheeks as she sat on the ground.

Mike looked at her "You have a choice that Shannon didn't." he said before he left

"And I've made my decision."

* * *

**_Don't forget to review, because you know how much we love them!_**


	8. Chapter Seven

_**Designated Target Crisis;**_

**After quite a few attempts, Maddy and I finally decided to update... We are slackers – But we tried to put a bit in this chapter to make up for it. **

**Thanks for the reviews/alerts/favourites/messages/e-mails**

**We love them!**

* * *

_Previously:_

_"You know an awful lot about not getting caught." Julia stated and Jenny smiled at the comment_

_"I learnt from the best."_

* * *

Jenny was so hyped up on morphine that she couldn't feel her toes but that still was not stopping her. All she had to do was wait a little bit longer, something that she wasn't in particular accustomed to. She had all of the equipment she needed, everything would go as planned, and she knew it. But that did not stop the feelings that seemed to be overwhelming her, fear, adrenaline and most of all, love.

She watched the clock ticking on the wall opposite her bed, counting countless seconds, but it was getting closer to something that she could not wait for. If she wasn't trained as an NCIS agent, she would have been barely able to conceal with excitement. She would find Jethro, make sure he was safe, she would heal herself, she'd get rid of Svetlana, she'd ran away somewhere maybe where there wasn't violence or undying hatred but just peace. A place where she could live, have friends and not have the worry of being shot on a day to day to basis. Somewhere like a certain farmhouse in Serbia, although Jenny knew that she couldn't go back to that certain place, not only was it dangerous but it held so many memories, not memories that she wanted to forget, never forget. But those certain memories reminded her just how much she had given up for her career. The one true love of her entire life, Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Jenny thought back to those times, the lazy days that they spent in bed only traipsing out when they had to and talking about anything and everything, well maybe not everything, she wanted that to be there to have that again but she knew that she couldn't, she had given that up when she had given him up. She had given him up for a career that saw her live alone and work ridiculous hours, faced with him every day.

She regretted her decision and there was no doubt about it but she loved being Director, she made her dream come true, she was the higher up, she was the one who got to make the rules, not play by them. She hated that fact, more than she'd care to admit. To be the queen and have control of her kingdom, there would be jesters sometimes perhaps but they would get thrown out and then there would be the knights in shining armour always coming to the rescue. However most of the time it was not always the knight she wanted rescuing from and the one time that he did, it had been foul play, on her part.

A knock on the door disrupted her trail of thoughts, "Hi there sugar,"

Jenny inwardly shuddered, not again...

"Hi." She muttered

"Just wanted to check your Meds."

"Actually, I've been feeling a bit of pain..."

"I can up your Meds..."

"That would be great."

"Okay, darling, I will be back in a minute you hold tight now wont ya."

Jenny knew that it would be smarter to be more drugged up so that she wouldn't be in so much pain, especially when she left. Because then, she wouldn't have the resources.

She smiled at the nurse as she left the room, within a couple of minutes she heard that dreaded accent again.

"Here ya go darling, take these and the pain will all go away."

Jenny glared at this.

She wasn't two years old and this woman was treating her as if she was

As if I didn't know that you southern accented idiot, thought Jenny.

It was drawing nearer, Jenny wanted to be nervous, but she couldn't afford to be.

The visit she'd had from Mike Franks lingered in her mind, she had a choice correct, but it wasn't as simple as that.

She had to protect him; she wouldn't be able to live with herself if something happened to him because of a foolish mistake that she had made.

But most of all, she had to protect their daughter.

That was part of the reason why she'd sent her to live with her mother, whom lived in Australia, to protect her.

It didn't matter if Jenny lost her own life in the process.

She would protect them.

The two people she cared about and loved more than anything.

All of her things had been taken care of; she even had stolen some morphine.

She was going to need it.

She looked at the bags that lay on the ground, she only had 2 duffel bags and they were full.

Julia should be in a moment, she was going to take them to the car that they would be using for the getaway.

She sighed gently as she thought about what she was doing, again.

But it was going to be worth it.

Everyone would be safe.

* * *

She stood up as she heard the noise of footsteps, coming closer if she was correct.

She laid down on the bed, nothing could look suspicious.

She couldn't afford any setbacks.

Julia poked her head around the corner where the door was and smiled briefly at Jenny whilst she came into the room.

Jenny visibly relaxed.

Julia then went and picked up the two bags and gave Jenny instructions to where the car would be.

Jenny nodded as she memorized them and waved lightly as Julia exited the room.

She scattered ashes of paper and wood that she had collected, under a set of pillows and a blanket.

She looked at her watch and waited for a minute.

She set up the oxygen so that it would flow under the pillows.

She had set the matches in a way that it would expose the whole packet to the heat from her timer.

She made sure it was set up correctly before she flicked the switch to on.

She would have to expose some flammable gas after she'd set her cigarette up in place and she would have to light it up of course.

Butterflies of nervousness trembled in Jenny's stomach.

Everything had to go to plan, or she was screwed.

She bit her lip as she looked over what she'd set up, she looked over everything in detail.

Another glance at her watch let her know that, the time was coming, it drawing nearer to five o'clock.

It was only 4.45pm but she couldn't say when her timer would exactly ignite the matches.

She lit the cigarette.

She placed it under the pillow, close to the matches.

She watched it burn slowly for a couple of moments.

She exposed the flammable gas before darting out of the door.

No one was in the hallways but it was the changeover for nurses in five minutes.

Jenny ran to the stairwell, running down all of them till she reached the bottom.

She exhaled a breath that she did not realise she was holding in as she reached the emergency door.

She surveyed the area, it seemed all clear.

She busted the lock on the door and she walked out of the Godforsaken place, it didn't matter that the alarm went off because suddenly, an explosion happened and a series of alarms began ringing.

They wouldn't be able to tell which ones until she was long gone.

The sound of screeching tyres down the road was the least of their problems.

* * *

**Review? Because... Because... I'll send you lots of e-hugs! Xx**


	9. Chapter Eight

_**Designated Target Crisis;**_

**AN: The most complicated yet sane story that I have written, this chapter is done half of old notes and half as a bit of a solo. I thought that we owed it to you guys to keep the ball rolling as Maddy and I do want to finish this, despite the fact that life gets in the way at times. I'm really trying to get back into writing...  
**

**With this chapter we kind of fast forward things slightly, this is Jenny leaving the hotel after seeing Gibbs and doing the sneaky. **

**So without further ado, please enjoy!**

* * *

Jenny stuffed as much as she could fit into her pockets and she grabbed an extra few bags to fit in her essential items in, she left without leaving a trace, or so she thought.

She was tired and she began to feel her wounds more as the time past.

She raced to the car park from the hotel, trying to be as discreet as possible, to blend in.

She prayed to God, any God that would listen, that she wouldn't get caught.

She'd never been overly religious, a thing she was beginning to regret.

She knew that she was running out of miracles.

She ran a hurried and nervous hand through her hair, what the hell was she doing? She couldn't help but think to herself.

No, she snapped out of the trance she was in, now was definitely not the time to be second guessing herself.

She got into the car closest to her, Julia was there waiting for her.

"Got everything you need?" the younger woman asked Jenny

"Yeah, I think so." She answered

To be completely honest, Jenny had no idea at all; she just needed to get somewhere safe and fast.

She wasn't sure who she could trust; she just trusted the fact that what she was doing was the right thing.

And that was a woman's intuition, right?

The car sped off into the darkness of the night.

Jenny looked at the woman beside her "I really appreciate this you know." she said as she thought of the all the people she was inadvertently hurting.

"I know you do." Julia replies, a small smile gracing her lips

Jenny stared into the darkness outside the window as she allowed her thoughts to drift to the man she loved.

"Ah, fuck." She muttered to herself, causing Julia to look at her

"Something wrong?" Julia asked concerned that her wounds may have been causing pain, and perhaps not all of them were physical.

"Just thinking of some things," Jenny responded as she stared out the window once more, she needed to get out of here and fast.

Jethro is going to kill me if he finds out, she thought sarcastically.

It was incredibly bittersweet, protect the ones you love the most by either causing them pain or die trying.

This entire situation is fucked up, she concluded.

"You want to talk about it?" Julia asked lightly, so that Jenny didn't feel pressured

"It's okay," she looked Julia in the eye, "I know what I have to do, I'm going to rectify my wrongs."

"Well at least that sounds like a positive aspect." Commented Julia as she did a sharp turn

"Yeah," breathed Jenny, "It's complicated world." She said softly

* * *

A loud groan was the first thing that his ears registered, it only took him a second to realise, it was coming from him.

He felt like hell.

His head felt as if it had been pounded against concrete pavement several times, he doubted painkillers would numb his symptoms.

His throat felt like a massacre, he opened his eyes to the bright blinding sun, an action which he instantly regretted.

He then later realised that a repetitive beeping noise was the thing that had woke him up from his slumber, his peaceful serenity.

The alarm clock on the bedside table, he quickly dismissed the offending electronic device, reframing himself from smashing it against the wall.

Jenny would have a field day, he thought.

The precious NCIS budget and all that.

_Jenny._

She wouldn't have a field day, she had no days left, and she was gone now.

He ran his right hand over his face, a minor attempt to pretend that he was awake.

He wanted to hurl.

With some coherent thoughts, he couldn't believe he was feeling sorry for himself.

* * *

The air was so still, hardly any breeze or wind passing through, just the heat radiating from the sun and the blinding light.

It was odd to say the least, scorching during the day yet cool at night, if there was a sort of medium instead of one extreme to the other, it would make it so much more bearable.

She had only been here a few hours though.

Jenny kicked up her feet onto the table as she rested on a chair in nothing but a pair of black short shorts and a simple grey cotton shirt that was way too big for her.

A jug of cold water on the smaller table next to her with a small cup, a little something to keep her fluids up in this type of hot weather, it was practically like there was no power and that it was a blackout.

That's what you get for hidden safe houses, she thought.

Well, she was the one that had set this one up with only one other person that knew of it, and so conveniently it happened to be the one and only, Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

A thin layer of sweat was visible along her forehead; she hadn't bothered applying any make-up to her face.

After all, there was no need to right at this moment; she was going to hop in the shower to cool off and rinse out her new hair colour.

The stench was quite strong; she couldn't help but think that she was destroying her hair follicles, the longer she left the dye in.

She had put in a semi permanent colour, darkest brown, it was called.

She then took a much needed sip of water, contemplating what her next move would be.

It was way too dangerous to leave the country right now, for the moment she was safe or as safe as she could be considering she was meant to be dead and there was a target on her forehead issued by a lovely Russian that she had clearly made the mistake of not shooting all those years ago.

A thing that she truly regretted now, all of this would have been over and perhaps Decker would have been alive, he may not have had to pay the price of her error.

Of all the things, she needed to do, on the top of that list was eliminate all traces of her existence.

Then something clicked in her head, a sort of flashing light bulb moment, she picked up a brand new disposable cell phone and dialled a number that she had memorised in her brain.

But with that it made her speak a foreign language that she hadn't touched base with in quite some time, thus making her accent very rusty.

"Hola Senora Cruz, código rojo. " Spoke Jenny, not letting the other woman get a word in and promptly she ended the call before it could be traced, just in case.

There was no way in hell that she was going to be less than cautious, things were different now and she had to make them right.

* * *

**AN: So if you are curious, the Spanish is ****código rojo which means code red. It's time to buckle up those seatbelts because in the next chapter it's when things start to get really interesting and secrets start to reveal themselves. Hang in there crew! **

**I just want to say a big fat thank you to all of you that have reviewed, alerted or put this as a favourite, and also to the people that have stuck with this from the beginning with us, without your support, we would have just stopped this altogether but we're going to keep persevering for you guys. We love you all!**

**Review! :) Because you missed us?**


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